Ask Auntie Artichoke

Hello from beautiful Montana.

Perky Personality, positive attitude, Perpetually happy?  Is that how others see me?  Well, it is not true, by a long shot.

When a friend commented that I seemed more pensive and less perky than usual, she was actually a little annoyed that I could be down in the dumps, concerned or even doubting my self.

It is important that you and she know that no matter how confident you are, life has bumps and disappointments and down days.  You have a right to a self-pity party occasionally.

Law of Attraction or Law of Whatever

No matter what the Law of Attraction Gurus say;  You can't always think happy thoughts. And if you worry that a cranky thought today will result in adverse reactions tomorrow, you can drive yourself crazy with guilt.

Some Reasons for Self Doubt

• Things are not working out as we planned.
• Life is harder than we thought.
• Some people lie and cheat and steal and we "should" have known.
• Our hormones make us vulnerable.
• Medications interact and cause side effects of delusional thoughts
• We fall back into old habits of seeing others in the best of lights and us in the worst of lights.
• We forget to count our blessing and recognize how far we have come and how much we have accomplished so far.

Overcome Self Doubt

• Get off your butt and do something. Anything, even cleaning out a drawer.  But finish it completely.  Unfinished projects eat away at your mind and confidence.  It does not have to be perfect, it has to be done.
• Stop thinking about yourself so much and focus on helping someone else. Go to the food pantry and stock shelves or drop off a bag of rice.
• Don't take everything personally.  Really and truly, the world, God and the Universe is not out to get you.  You are an important part of the universe, but not the center.  Most people are way too focused on their own problems to judge you and yours.
• Laugh. Giggle. Smile.  I dare you to smile for three minutes (the time of a song on the radio) and still think negative thoughts.
• Remember, as Shakespeere or Gomer Pyle or Confusious or somebody smart said: "The rain falls on the just and the unjust"  And as my grandson says "crap happens sometimes. Doesn't mean you are crap."

I love you and just writing this made me feel better.  Of course I have been smiling for three minutes because I know you are too.

Judy H. Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship coach and author

PS: Keep an eye on http.www.ArtichokePress.com   We are about to schedule new teleclasses.

This is a long blog post, but it is important as we discuss building self confidence. Love, Judy

I Want to be the Kind of Friend I Would
Like to Have

© Judy H. Wright

Is friendship important?  Do you feel or think that others don’t want
to be your friend? Do you label yourself as “shy” or a “loner”? If you could
look in a catalog to find the kind of friend you would like, what would you
look for?  How many of those
characteristics do you share with others?

May I challenge you to spend
the next 30 days picking one of these affirmations each morning and repeat it
over and over until it becomes automatic action?   Write
it out on a 3 by 5 card and slip it in your pocket.  Take it out many times and read it over and
over.

If you do, I guarantee you in
a month, you will have new friends who are nurturing and kind.

·        
Today, I will
smile at someone new.

·        
Today, I will
help someone who doesn’t ask for help.

·        
Today, I will
assume responsibility for my own choices. 
I won’t blame any one else.

·        
Today, I will
look someone in the eye when I talk to them.

·        
Today, I will not
say anything unkind.

·        
Today, I will
give someone a compliment.

·        
Today, I will
apologize when I make a wrong choice in my words, actions and assumptions. …Today,
I will stand up for somebody if other people bad mouth or gossip about them..

·        
Today I will tell
the truth all day.

·        
Today, I will not
exaggerate or brag about myself.

·        
Today I will
laugh at someone’s joke.

·        
Today, I will
listen carefully to someone else’s story and not interrupt.

·        
Today, I will be
careful about people’s boundaries and stop myself before I go too far.

·        
Today I will ask
politely for what I want and need.

·        
Today, I will not
be afraid to tell someone I like them.

·        
Today, I will not
feel left out.

·        
Today, I will
recognize that when someone is cranky, it isn’t always about me.  They may just be having a bad day.

·        
Today, I will
tell someone I am sorry and ask them to forgive me.

·        
Today, I will
find someone new to have lunch with.

·        
Today, I will do
something kind for someone else.

·        
Today, I will speak
to someone who kind of scares or intimidates me.

·        
Today, I will
send a birthday card or just a “thinking of you” card to someone.

·        
Today, I will
remember that most people want to like me, they just don’t know me yet.

·        
Today, I will be
brave and ask if I can join in the fun.

·        
Today, if someone
says something unkind to me, I will smile and say, “Why would you want to hurt
my feelings?”

·        
Today, I will
smile and say hello to 25 people.

·        
Today, I will
remember that I have be open to friends from all kinds of places.

·        
Today, I will ask
someone to teach me something I don’t know much about.

·        
Today, I will
agree to do what my friends want to do, even if I would rather do something
else.

·        
Today, I will let
someone else go in front of me in line.

·        
Today, I will
share my snack or lunch with someone else.

·        
Today I will tell
5 people thank you.

·        
Today, I will
call someone and not just wait for them to call me.

·        
Today, I will not
keep score on who called or paid or chose first last time.  I will know that it doesn’t really
matter.  What matters is being together
and having fun.

·        
Today, I will
offer to loan somebody something of mine that I think they would enjoy.

·        
Today, I will
think of a group of organization I would like to join.

·        
Today, I will do
more than I am asked to do.  And I will
do it with a smile.

·        
Today, I will ask
someone to join us.

Will
you do this for yourself and those who would like to be your friend but are
afraid of rejection?  Come on, I dare
you.  Just try it, you will be glad you
did.

If
you would like some guidance or coaching on gaining self confidence, please go
to http://www.EncourageSelfConfidence.com   This is an ebook and bonus items that will
assist you in your personal growth.

Judy
H. Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship coach and author also
offers free teleclasses and radio show every Thursday that are designed just
for you.  You can sign up at http://www.ArtichokePress.com

Keywords:
Friendship, friend, self confidence, affirmation, guidance, coaching,, Judy H.
Wright, Artichoke Press, relationship, “with a smile” “thinking of you” join
groups, personal growth, “I am sorry” “forgive me”

Hello from beautiful Montana:

Are you on FaceBook?  Then please be my friend and join my new group called Confidence Clues.

If life is a game, then we are
all given "clues" to help us succeed. A wise participant (like you and
me) will be on the lookout for these little reminders of our inner
strengths and outward manifestations of confidence and courage.

What helps you to remember who you are and what you want to accomplish in life?

List
at least 4 of your confidence boosters daily and I will draw a name
every Sunday to receive my new eBook "Building Self Confidence with
Encouraging Words."

Think about it for a minute– What do you do
to bounce back from adversity? When you are shaking in your boots, what
tricks do you do to psych yourself up for the challenge? What gives you
courage?

When we see other people's lists, it will remind us of
our own Confident Clues. Or maybe we can borrow their clues to give us
courage. Why not?

If just one other person in the world can do it, so can you!

Love,  Judy H. Wright

Greetings from beautiful Montana:

I have National Public Radio on in the background, playing Sunday afternoon jazz, cup of tea by my desk and all is well in my world.  Gratitude for all that I have now and all that is on it's way floods my soul and fills my heart.

This home office and the time to write has been a dream for my whole life.  We have had six children and were caregivers for relatives, so it was some period of time before "it was my turn."  But the idea was very clear in my mind and every day, I took little steps to reach my dream.

The Process of Becoming

Each one of us were born with a yearning to achieve and get our wants and needs met. Watch babies and you will see that they reach for the toy, the outstretched hand or the breast if they are hungry.

We are all in the process of growing and learning each day. It is by being quiet and allowing our mind to return to the deep desires of our heart that we remember what we really want, not just what we want right now.

Authentic Self

It is the real you that is filled with dreams, desires, intentions and goals. It is a lie that you have believed that it will never be your turn.  it will and you should always be on the road to your dream.

GTO for Me

My husband Dwain kept his dream car (1966 Pontiac GTO, or GOAT) in a garage for 26 years!  We could never allocate the money and time to restore it.  But every weekend, he and one or two of the kids would polish it, look through magazines and catalogs on what they would order when…..

Now he shows it in car shows all over the Northwest.  it is valuable asset.  But the life lesson is priceless.  It taught our children that you never give up on your dream.  You just do what you can, when you can and keep the goal uppermost in your consciousness.

Your Mind, Spirit  and Inner Guidance Want You to Succeed

And so do I.  I really do care about you and your dreams.  I have confidence in your ability to reach the point in life where it is "Your Turn."  Is it now? Today?  Why not you?

If You need coaching along the way, call me.  My price is $40 an hour or $200  a month for twice a week phone sessions(You save $40 and get much more concentrated attention)  In one month you will have your goals clearly defined and a plan of action  and time line on achieving them.

Love,

Judy H. Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship coach and author

PS. Did you find $200 for new soccer shoes? Can you find $40 to buy take out? Perhaps you need to look at how you could find some money for you to remember who and what you are.  I'm here to help you succeed and reach for what you really want. Call me at 406-549-9813 and let's go to work on your dream.

PPS. Check out http://www.ArtichokePress.com for a schedule of upcoming teleclasses and radio shows at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuntieArtichoke We are really focusing on self confidence this month.

Good morning from beautiful Montana:

We have had so much company this summer.  It has been great to see family and friends.  We are thankful we have the capacity to share our little home and pantry with visitors.

My Twitter message this morning was that is why I coach about relationships-because our family comes in boatloads to visit. Let's follow each other on Twitter; http://www.Twitter.com/judyhwright

Yes, it is a disruption in our schedule. Yes, it does mean more cooking (we sometimes have cereal  or popcorn for dinner, can't do that for company, darn it) Yes, it does mean more laundry and cleaning and mowing and smiling.

But, it also means building connections and memories.  As we sit around the round oak table in the kitchen sharing tea and cookies, or wine and cheese, we tell stories. We tell the often retold tales of growing up on a farm, being broke when we were young, being broke when we are old and all kinds of stories that have shaped our lives.

Relationships are not just made up of relatives who are related by blood, but by kinship. Those who have been a part of our lives in some small or large way. There is an affinity of love and respect between us. They have kindred spirits.

So, must go change the sheets, thaw out a casserole and run a dust rag over the living room-Company coming this afternoon.

Love,

Judy H. Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship coach and author

PS: We leave the light on, so plan to stop when you visit Montana

PPS: Check out http://www.ArtichokePress.com for the new schedule of free teleclasses on Thursday.

PPPS. My radio show is http://www.blogtalkradio.com/auntieartichoke (15 minutes of fame each week.)

Hello from beautiful Montana:

We have had so much company this summer and more coming every day.  People want to see Glacier National Park before all the glaciers melt and enjoy the Big Sky country.  We love sharing our small home and table with people (and pets, if they are behaved!)

Let's talk again about developing the skill of confidence.

In order to learn any skill (including being confident) you must have a deep desire to:

1. Be aware and clear in your mind of the advantages in learning something new and incorporating it in your life.
2. Ask to be mentored or taught by someone you trust.
3. Learn the basics of the task or skill and don't plan on achieving perfection right away.(or ever)
4. Expect some setbacks and don't become discouraged.
5. Set up a plan of action with measurable steps in order to reach an ultimate goal.
6. Focus on effort and use self encouragement.
7. Move forward and do something every day to take advantage of momentum.
8. Enjoy the skill as it becomes automatic action (habit) and enhances your life.

Changing your outlook to one of encouragement and positive outcomes will be a life skill that will not only affect you but everyone around you.

I would like to encourage you to check out http://www.AritichokePress.com  and sign up for free teleclasses every Thursday on some aspect of family relationships.  I also do a radio show and am looking for people to interview?  Interested?  Call me at 406-549-9813

Love,

Judy H. Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship coach and author

PS: I have confidence in you.  Don't forget I also offer confidence coaching if you or a child could use some individual help.

PPS: Our daughter asked me why I sign these epistles (she calls them teaching moments) with love to people I don't even know or have met.  The truth is; I do love you.  you are part of my community and I appreciate that.

Hello from beautiful Montana:

We have been talking about being aware of the clues of confidence, the little things that make a big difference to how others perceive you.  They may be small  changes but add up to a more polished and courageous outlook when put  all together.

We have also talked of how self confidence is a learned skill and needs practice to become automatic action and a habit for good.  Consistent encouragement for the process of learning and the successes come more often.

Today, we want  to discuss the center of confidence and what makes the rest of your life run smoothly.

Riding  a Unicycle is Easy, Once You Know How

If you have ever seen a clown or teenager balancing on a unicycle, you were probably impressed. It seems almost impossible to keep everything from tipping over and hitting the street.

This summer we saw a young man at an art fair, who was not only riding and balancing, but was extending his tall hat for tips.  We gave a generous tip not only for his skill, but for his cherry smile and the fact that he requested a donation so he could go to a camp.  (I admire those who ask for what they want and then remember to say thank you to those who helped them.)

I later saw him, with his unicycle under his arm and lunch in his hands.  When I asked him how he had learned to ride  he was glad to share his success.  He said the three things that kept him going when he was trying to learn to balance on one wheel was:

1. His parent's encouragement.  They saw his interest and helped him to accomplish his dreams.
2. Consistent practice.  He knew he would have to sacrifice to achieve his goals and he was willing to give up what he wanted right now for what he really wanted.
3. Thinking of the wheel as an extension of himself. The more in tune he was, the easier it was to ride and balance on a single wheel.  He had confidence in the equipment and his ability and it was easy to forget and just rely on good habits learned in training.

Develop Your Skill and Your Confidence

Will you or your child want to work on riding a unicycle?  Probably not. But you may want to learn to be more courageous in social situations, or stop negative thought patterns and beliefs.

If you would like additional assistance building self confidence, please see http://www.HowtoAttractFriends.com an eBook and many free bonus items that will make the journey much smoother.

Please join us each Thursday for a free teleclass and radio show on some aspect of family relationships.  You will feel they have been designed just for you, and they have.  Check out the schedule at http://www.ArtichokePress.com

Love,

Judy H. Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship coach and author

PS:  I invite you to check out

http://www.simplyvicki.com/2008/08/20/smart-moms-smart-business-blog-carnival

(this a parenting and relationship forum which has wonderful resources you will enjoy.)

Hello Again from beautiful Montana:

We are just about to go out "bumming around" looking for treasures at yard sales, but I want to take a minute and share some good Confidence Clues with you.

In order to learn an skill you must have a deep desire to:

1. Be aware and clear in your mind of the advantages in learning something new and incorporating it into your life.
2. You have to ask to be mentored or taught by someone you trust.
3. You have to be willing  to learn the basics of the task or skill and not expect perfection right away.
4. You have to expect setbacks and disappointments and don't become discouraged.
5. Set up a plan of action with measurable steps in order to reach your ultimate goal.
6. Focus on the effort and improvement and use self encouragement to keep going.
7. Move forward and do something every single day to take advantage of momentum.
8. Relax and enjoy this new skill as it becomes automatic action and enhances your life.

Changing your outlook to one of encouragement and positive outcome will be a life skill that will not only affect you but everyone around you.

I have confidence that you want to increase your confidence enough to do the 8 steps.

Love,

Judy H. Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship coach and author

PS:  If you are on Twitter or FaceBook, please let us be your friend.

Hello from beautiful Montana:

You want to be self confident and you want to build that inner core of strength in your children, grandchildren and employees or you wouldn't have been drawn to this article.

Turn Towards the Positive

By turning your thoughts and intentions towards a more positive life and example, you have taken the first step on a wonderful journey towards self growth and mastery.  This journey starts with a single step and then another and then another just as learning any skill does.

By committing to learn and teach confidence you will soon be able to recognize and teach that you and yours are good human beings and worthy of love and respect.

Change Your Viewpoint

Even if you tend to see the negative or look at life with pessimistic eyes, it is possible to change that old belief system and thought process.  Becoming an encouraging person with an attitude of gratitude is a skill, and all skills take consistent practice in order to become a habit.

It is not an overnight acquisition nor is it something that you can buy on-line or at the store.  You might purchase tools, but you and you alone must do the daily work in order to reach the goal of being a more confident person.

Be Consistent in Your Practice

To become proficient in any skill you must be committed to the goal.  Think back on when you learned to ride a bike, play an instrument or speak a foreign language.  It takes dogged determination and consistent action to overcome obstacles and old habits in order to gain a reward.

I Have Confidence in Your Ability to Gain Self Confidence

Please join us each Thursday for a free radio show and Teleclass as we work on various aspects of enhancing relationships.  Sign up today at http://www.ArtichokePress.com  You will feel each session was created just for you.  And it was.

I also invite you to have a gift of a free eBook on communication styles, both verbal and non verbal, for positive results.  Just click on http://www.UseEncouragingWords.com

Love,
Judy H. Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship coach and author

Good Morning from Beautiful Montana:

Today on my radio show Ask Auntie Artichoke (http://www.blogtalkradio.com/auntieartichoke ) I decided to use my 15 minutes of fame every Thursday morning  (9am MST-Noon EST)to share tips for building self confidence.

Old Belief Systems Affect Your Choices

Many times we are our own worst enemies! 

We are like the fly banging against the screen when the open door is only six inches away. it just never dawns on us that there is a better way that is probably a lot easier and faster.  We just keep doing the same old, same old and then pretty soon we anticipate a bloody head with the screen imprint.

Negative-Positive Self Talk

Most of us do not even realize the amount of irrational and untrue  beliefs that run through our mind every day.  Some those destructive, irrationational, head banging thoughts are: "I must be good at everything or people won't like me."  "My boss is out to get me."  "If only……"  "It's Your fault I feel this way, you make me upset." "No one will ever love me because I was abused as a child."

A lot of self talk which leads to self sabotage is based on beliefs we think are facts.  We maintain that something is true just because we have said it so many times.  A mind takes everything you say literally, and then causes you to act automatically like your belief.  Your subconscious is more concerned with proving that you aren't crazy for believing what you do than discovering the real truth.

Irrational Beliefs

Our self talk and irrational beliefs cause us to move toward what we think about the most.  If your subconscious believes something it will work hard to make it happen.

It's hard to be depressed if you don't think depressing thoughts all day long.  (Duh!I coulda had a V8 instead of a headache said the fly at the funeral.)

Confidence Challenge for the day

Try saying depressing and negative words while you smile.  Go ahead, I dare you.  Can't do it, can you? So every time a negative thought comes in your mind today, Smile.

Your face and body expresses what is in your mind.

Love,

Judy H. Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship coach and author

PS. Thanks for being in the community.  I like knowing you are in my tribe and on my side. It makes me smile.

PPS.  Please join the Free Thursday Teleclass and Radio show. Find  the schedule on http://www.ArtichokePress.com