Ask Auntie Artichoke

Hello from beautiful Montana:

Have you ever lost a job, spouse, child, parent, sibling, beloved pet, best
friend or your self confidence?

Do you feel alone and vulnerable, especially
around the holidays or anniversary date?

Does it seem that everyone else has "it altogether" and your life
is falling apart?

Are the Holidays with all the social activities especially
hard for you?

Click here to hear my personal invitation…

If you are looking for support without judgment, will you come with a small
group of kind people to a once a week phone meeting? 

This group will meet over the phone and replays of the sessions and handouts will be available to all members.

The sessions will take
place each Thursday  leading up to Thanksgiving and then the week after
for a check in.

We will have a time for Q and A, as well as a private coaching session with
me.

Please look at the website to see all the benefits of participation. You will be glad you did.

We want you to be
a part of this small select group.  You can choose how much you want to
participate or share.

http://artichokepress.com/teleseminars/Healing_Journey.htm

Please take a moment
and check this out.  If not for you, then perhaps as a gift for
someone you love.

In Gratitude and love,

Your friend,

Judy H. Wright

PS.  I hope that you will join us.  I guarantee you will discover
new ways to lessen your pain and be better able to enjoy the coming holiday
season.

http://artichokepress.com/teleseminars/Healing_Journey.htm

Good morning from beautiful Montana:

I have been ranting and raving all over the place on this blog lately.  We have talked about greed,confidence, learning styles, baby brain development, loss of a pet,encouraging your children to help at home and gratitude.

Thanks for following my ADD mind as I jump from one subject to the next.  One of the advantages of being in the third trimester of your life is that you have seen, experienced and done a lot and want to teach about it.

Be a Problem Solver

As many of you know, I work with families who are struggling. Sometimes that struggle is with relationship differences, financial problems, parenting or learning to cooperate. There is a lot of emotions involved as we learn to calm down and problem solve.

Many are stuck in old methods that did not work yesterday, so why would they work today and tomorrow?

In order to move forward, you need to think of new ways to find solutions.

What do You Really Want?

Make a list of what you really want.  For many of the families it is easier to list what they don't want on one side of the sheet and then reword it on the other side to what they do want.

Be very clear, specific and with as much detail as possible. For instance instead of I don't want to be broke  say:

•        I do want to bring into our household an additional $1,000 a month,which will enable us to pay for rent and utilities.
•        I do want to find ways to cook creatively so that we  can spend less than $500 a month on groceries.
•        I do want to spend time with my children in nature instead of watching television.
•        I do want to feel confidence that we can simplify our lives and still enjoy one another.

Listen to Your Elders

I have had the privileged of writing a number of memoirs and life stories for those who lived through the depression.  Many look back and wonder how they managed and then realize that the experience made them strong and resilient.

They consider the hard times and their ability to survive and prosper as a foundation of their character.  They learned who they were and how to be self sufficient.

They Found Courage in Adversity and You Will Too

I am confident in your ability to survive and thrive in this economy. This may offer you the kick in the seat of the pants you needed to review your life and see what is really important.  Just look at old situations with new eyes and you will find new and improved solutions.

With love and support,

Judy H. Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship coach and author.

PS: Be sure to join us each Thursday at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuntieArtichoke  replays are always up, so you can listen 24/7

Hello from beautiful Montana:

Friendship has been described as the springboard to every other love.  Communication and interactions skills learned with friends spill over into every other relationship in life.  Those who have no friends also tend to have a diminished capacity for sustaining marriages, work and neighborhood relationships.

I see people who have been hurt, either physically or emotionally, in a friendship and so have built a wall around their heart to keep from being hurt or rejected again. The problem with that  approach is the toxic friend has gone on with their lives, many not even recognizing the damage they have done.

Be A Friend

The best way I know to make a friend is to be approachable and open to others.  If your children are involved in extra-curricular activities, step up and invite the other families to share a potluck meal before or after the game.  Our son's soccer team had a pasta meal before every game, rotating between houses of players and coaches.  it allowed the families to form a bond of support and friendship.

Practice Being Friendly

Making friends is a valuable life skill that can be learned.  Like many life skills, they may seem hard, frustrating and complicated and perhaps cause a little pain at first. Learn friendly and likability steps  practice until they become second nature.

Yes, it can take time and courage on your part to build a network of people you trust and who will in turn, be loyal and kind to you.  It is worth the effort for you and your children to find a support system to be with in the good times and the not so good times that accompany all of us in life.

Attract Friends

Be the kind of friend you would like to have and others will be drawn to you.  Building and maintaining relationships can be one of the most rewarding projects of your life.

The Left Out Child

If your child or a child you know is having difficulty making and maintaining friendship, you will want to order http://www.TheLeftOutChild.com  This offers easy to use steps to help your child develop this lifeskill.

Thanks for all you do to make this a better world by loving and forgiving those in your circle of influeance.

Love,

Judy H. Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship coach and author
http://www.ArtichokePress.com

Hello from beautiful Montana- Thought I would share how to play the commandment game. I am a great believer in making learning fun.  You can use any similar game to teach lists.

If you want to read the first post, check out the post on "Greed."  You will find it in the archives under current affairs.

Here you go. Count off on your fingers and then go back and review each time. Help them to think of the thing and the number and it will remind them.

 I won't write the commandments, but this is the jist of them and how to remember them forever. Look them up ( I think they are in Exodus)

You will see it in your mind's eye and you will also remember the joy of learning with someone who loves you and wants you to succeed in life.

1. One and only God
2. Zoo-zoos have animal statues out front-graven images
3. Tree-trees have branches, branches have leaves, leaves have veins-Name in vain
4. Door- Doors have locks, locks have keys, key reminds you to keep the Sabbath day holy and to rest from working on a regular basis
5. Drive- Your parents drive you around and you should honor and respect them.
6.Sticks- If you hit someone hard enough with a stick, you could kill them, so don't do that
7. Heaven- You won't get to Heaven if you commit adultery or don't stay faithful. Keep your promises.
8. Gate- Do not go into someone's property and take their property. Stealing is wrong.
9.Lying- Do not tell lies. Always tell the truth
10. Hen-Don't wish you had your neighbors hen, or toys or money. Don't covet and want what other people have.

Good luck.  You do an important work with your family.
Love, Judy H. Wright

PS: Please check out http://www.ArtichokePress.com  for the free radio show and teleclass on family relations this Thursday.  You will feel that they were designed just for you.  And they were.

Hello from beautiful Montana:

Yesterday we attended church at the open and affirming global denomination we attend occasionally.  I was impressed when the Pastor talked about how every religion and spiritual following talks about the dangers of greed.

When he mentioned that greed was the basis of six of the ten commandments, I was surprised.  When I reflected on the financial crisis I could tie all ten to a love of money and power.

Finance became more important than family.

As a child, my mother used a little game to teach us the ten commandments and told us that if we would just follow them, we would be okay in life.  (If you are interested in learning the memory game, let me know. I taught my grandkids to memorize the ten commandments in ten minutes.)

As a family educator, I can see not only financial  disaster, but relationships are suffering.

The Broken Commandments by those who should know better.

1. Thou shalt have no other gods before me.(Money and power have become the driving force behind most decisions. Getting more and more in order to be the top of the pile)
2. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven images.(How many CEOs have luxury cars, planes and multiple homes?  In Montana some of them have built obscene 10,000 square feet houses in the mountains and then spend 1 week a year, if that, there.)
3. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord in vain.(Are they praying or playing by saying "Oh, My God?" when the stock market goes down?)
4. Remember the Sabbath Day, to keep it holy.(Banks and stores are now open 24/7. Workers are no longer given a day off to spend with their family)
5. Honor thy father and thy mother.(Need we remind you about Mother Earth and Father Time and I can testify how very few strong family relationships are honored and treasured.)
6. Thou shalt not kill.(Those in charge may not have directly killed individuals, but many have lost their own lives, both physically and spiritually from the stress of trying to keep up with the Joneses.)
7. Thou shalt not commit adultery. (So many are seeking solutions at a mistress named work, and neglecting their own loved ones)
8. Thou shalt not steal. (Oh brother, need I say anything here?)
9. Thou shalt not bear false witness.(Again, lying is so commonplace that it is modeled in advertisements and most people no longer even consider it wrong.)
10. Thou shalt not covet. (covet means to want, want, want, I see so many families-including my own- who do not think through what is a want and what is a need.)

Thank you for allowing me to rant and rave.  I am in a position to see the trickle down effect  of greed to the lowest common denominator: the children.  They are the ones who are losing  the most when their families lose housing, food and security.

If we need a guideline and road map for life's journey, we have to look no further than the ten commandments. Perhaps we all need to review them daily and teach our families.

Love,

Judy H. Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship coach and author

PS:  Feel free to comment, let's discuss this.

Hello friends throughout the world:

 This is a scary time in our little corner of the world right now.  Many friends and family are concerned and worried as jobs are lost, houses are not selling and groceries are getting more expensive than ever.

Many parents try to keep the realities of life from their children, preferring to worry about it privately.  However, as a parent educator, I can tell you that the children are much more worried about you than they would be about the truth.

Have a family council, and explain that even though there will be some changes, your family is safe and will always love each other.  Then commit to doing the next 7 steps every day for a month, and I guarantee, you will feel better and your financial outlook will too.

1. Get up every morning determined to have a good day
   

2. Stand
   up and start walking. Exercise will get your pulse pumping and remind you that you are alive, human and have options in life. Your best ideas will come to you when you are walking and active.
3. Suit
   Up and look professional.  Even if you are staying home, shower, shave and get dressed.
4. Show
   Up and do at least 5 projects. Make a list of projects, set the timer on the kitchen stove for 45 minutes and focus on that one project without interruption. When the timer goes off, walk around, get a snack, go to the bathroom and then set the timer again for 45 minutes. Use one of the focus periods to read email or the paper, but only do that in that specific period.
5. Think
   Up and Stay Positive .   If negative thoughts appear in your mind, think of a stop sign and then say out loud "I can do this. I have done other things that were hard and I can do this."
   
6. Say
   what you really want- Not what you want right now (which is to go back to
   bed and watch television all day) but what you really want (which is to make X amount of money, take
   your family to DisneyLand, and retire at
   62)
7. Leave
   the  how and when details to God.

You can do this, one day at a time.  I challenge you to do this for 30 days and then let me know how it works. If you do, I will send you a free book by Zig Zigler or one of mine on building self confidence.

You are not alone.  We are a community of support who want the best for you and your family.

With love,

Judy H. Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship coach and author

PS:  If you need assistance in regaining self confidence and courage, please check out http://www.EncourageSelfConfidence.com 

PPS:  Also, please join us each Thursday for a Free radio show and teleclass on various aspects of family relationships and communication.  To see the schedule, go to http://www.ArtichokePress.com

Hello from beautiful Montana:

Stages
of Grief: Should I be This Sad? -
Whether the loss is a loved one, pet or co-worker, it is important
to acknowledge the pain and understand the emotions. Using my
experience with Hospice, as well as having survived many losses
and writing two books on the subject, I can support your feelings
and questions.  If there is interest, I will do a 4 week
intensive coaching session on this subject.

Love,
Judy H. Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship coach and author
http://www.ArtichokePress.com