Ask Auntie Artichoke

Hello again from beautiful Montana:

Is your relationship strong and vibrant?  I don't just mean the connection you have with your spouse, partner or child.  Your conversation and interaction with your neighbor, co-workers and those who serve you coffee in the drive through at Starbucks.

All relationships start with friendship. 

Friendship starts and continues with trust. Trust is manifested with respect and honor for the other person. By treating others as we would like to be treated, we will have a more accepting and tolerant home, neighborhood, community, nation and world.

As we have been doing a countdown on important words in a relationship, we are now on the four most vibrant and meaningful things to say.  Please go back to the other posts to see the six and five most important words.

Words have power to heal or hurt

"What do you think?"
"Let me help you"
"Will you forgive me?
"You matter to me"
"Can we try again"
"We all make mistakes"

Powerful Phrases of Only Four Words

These short declarations can change the world if used each day in connecting with others. Words are so important to declare our affection and needs to other people and to respond to their needs.

Building Self Confidence With Encouraging Words

My latest book will be available on Amazon  Booksshortly and can be ordered at a special price on our website.  Please take a look at the valuable information that can change your life and build your confidence as well as the children in your circle of influence.

http://www.EncourageSelfConfidence.com 

You will be glad you took the time and small investment in your future.

Judy H. Wright
aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship coach and author

the main site for Artichoke Press is http://www.ArtichokePress.com

Hello from Montana:

Last week I started a countdown on the most important words in relationships. The six most important words were "I admit I made a mistake."

Words carry such power and kind ones can lift a person up and encourage better actions.  Unkind words can wound a soul and make a person feel like giving up or closing down communication with you.

Here we go–Five most important words to enhance a relationship:

"You did a good job"

Such a simple acknowledgment of someone's effort lets them know that their efforts were appreciated. When you notice the positive things in life, you will find that there will be more to notice.  By focusing on what went right, you encourage more of the same.

"I respect and trust you"

Trust is the basis for all good relationships, in family, workplace, neighborhood, community, nation and world.  To be respected and trusted as an equal strengthens all interpersonal communication and interchange of ideas.

"I enjoy being with you"  This phrase is truly an emotional exchange that builds bridges and strengthens ties of community.  This is the truth with each of you readers.  I really do writing this blog to you.  I envision you and yours and send a little prayer that your day will be good and that you will be given all that you need today. I also salute you with my cup of tea.

So even though I am in my flannel pajamas and wool socks in my little home office in Montana, I do enjoy being with you where ever you might be when you read this. Thanks for being a part of my circle of friends and building a relationship with me.

In gratitude,

Judy H. Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship coach and author

PS:  I am studying a couple's relationship course before I recommend it to you, but so far it is really good.  It is done by the publishing company that gave us http://www.DisciplineYesPunishNo.com 
which I really recommend for families who are struggling with negative behavior problems.

Hello from beautiful Montana:

I am going to do a countdown for you of the most important words in a relationship.  That means any relationship; husband  and wife, boyfriend and girlfriend, parent and child, manager and worker, teacher and student, neighbor and  neighbor, friend and  friend, co-worker and co-worker.  All relationships need these words to help them work better.

The six most important words:

"I Admit I Made a Mistake"

Why is this important?  Because only when we are willing to confess that our way is not the only way, are we able to compromise and come to an agreement that is win-win.

"Please Tell me What You Need"

Another six words of empowerment.  This is politely asking the other part of the relationship to explain what they want and need from you.

Many spouses and managers expect others to read their minds.  Then it is a point of contention when the other party does not understand the perimeters of the request.  Or even worse, is when one party is expected to read the mind of the other one.

If you loved me or really cared, you would know what I need! is so unfair to both parties in a relationship.  How can we anticipate another person's needs and wishes.

Speak up and let your needs be known and share your vulnerability.

Tomorrow, watch for the five most important words to build strong relationships.  See you then.

With love and gratitude for your part in this community of people who want to build relationships based on trust, kindness and respect for everyone.

Judy H. Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship coach and author of over 20 books
http://www.ArtichokePress.com

PS: Be sure to check out http://www.EncourageSelfConfidence.com for a new book just being released.  It was written just for you.

Hello from beautiful Montana:

As I am preparing to speak to a large conference of child care providers, I am reminded of how important their job or calling is in life. They are called on to not only teach social skills, basic education but also character traits.  The life skills they share with children will set them on a path of dependence or independence for the rest of their lives.

Stuff Happens in Life

 Sometimes we are balancing so many plates and balls, that one or two are bound to fall. Hopefully, they won't break, but will be resilient
or flexible.The
ability to bounce back from disappointment or failure requires life
skills that can be taught. Having this ability begins with teaching
children to assume responsibility for their actions, and not blame
others, or themselves, for circumstances beyond their control.

Have a Plan B

No matter how optimistic you may be, there will be pot-holes, knock-downs,  emotional smacks up side the head, deaths, accidents, firings, no money, no friends and all sort of negative things happen to you.

It is not what happens to you, but how you react to what happens that can make or break your spirit.
Self-blame
can be a spiral toward low esteem and lack of confidence.  Sometimes it's just being in the wrong place at the wrong time, or
others may have a hidden agenda. It isn't always even about you and you can not control how others think or act.

Resilience helps people deal with
disappointments, setbacks, stress,and even trauma. Resilient people see
an obstacle as a learning experience, have a Plan B and Plan C and Plan D if necessary, and posses the
confidence to keep going

Be A Problem Solver

Look at the situation and make decisions about changing your attitude on dealing with it, if you can't change the situation.  Be optimistic about the future.  You are a smart person and have succeeded at many things in the past and will again in the future.

I have confidence in you

You have been drawn to this community because you know that you want to improve your life and find better solutions than in the past.  You want to learn new techniques and tips to help you have the good life you deserve.

If you need additional guidance and assistance, please order my latest book "Building Self Confidence with Encouraging Words."  It will be on Amazon within two weeks and the landing page for the eBook is available at http://www.EncourageSelfConfidence.com

Thanks for Being You,

Judy H. Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship coach and author
http://ArtichokePress.com