Ask Auntie Artichoke

Hello from beautiful Montana:

Young children learn through experience gained in playing situations.  This play can be structured and aided by care givers or you can let the baby take the lead and you follow along to reinforce what they are learning.

Hello from Montana:

Yes Sir, I Mean Ma’am, Okay Honey, I Mean…

Wow, Our Little Girl is an Air Force Officer?

Even as a young child, Christine, our second daughter, had a unique ability to problem solve and influence others to peaceful solutions. She could see the playground group who was excluding someone and calmly alter the guidelines to bring the outsider into the circle. She would see opportunities for leadership when others simply saw problems. She also adored her father, Dwain, a former Air Force officer who retired from the National Guard.

So why were we surprised one night at the end of a month when she called us from Seattle where she was living while going to community college.  She said she had good news and bad news, which did we want to hear first? Her dad said, “Give us the good news.”

She then replied “Well, I am dating the cutest Air Force National Guard Recruiter.”

Her dad said, “You don’t even have to tell us the bad news, it is that he needed to make quota and so you joined up?”

She sighed and said ”Gosh Dad, that would not be right, but I did sign up from one of his friends.”

A New Path

As always, she threw herself 100% into everything she did. She took advantage of all the training, exercises and mentoring available to her.  Moving up the enlisted ranks, while finishing college and working fulltime in retail management, she honed her ability to get things done and be organized. As a single mother, she made sure her personal family was well taken care of and then served her extended family, the United States of America.

In 2002 she was called on to go to UAE working as communication support for the Air Force.  While there an opening for an officer opened up in her home squadron. She realized that she had a small window of opportunity to pursue the paperwork, testing and training in order to become an officer. The age limit to apply was 35 years old, and she was within 4 months of that date.

Small but Mighty

She says; “This was a natural extension of my career goals and an opportunity to display what I believed in and who I wanted to be. I am extremely proud to be a part of the Air Force National Guard. Their mission, which is one I can totally represent with pride, is to support and defend the constitution of the United States against all enemies foreign and domestic. This includes building up communities where we serve.”

As for her role as a woman in the service, she says it has never been a disadvantage, nor has being 5′6″ and 128 lbs.  She says; ”Being one of six children in a military family taught me how to get along, negotiate and be a team player. Those skills have served me well in thinking of ways to make adjustments in how I accomplish my goals.  I respect myself and I treat others with the same respect and that is how you lead.”

Community Service

In 2008 the Northwest was hit with record snowfall and unprecedented blizzards. The Washington National Guard units were called on to shovel snow from the roofs of neighborhood schools so the children would be safe. Local families brought them hot chocolate, sandwiches and thank you messages for the work they did.

Working in local areas to build and strengthen communities by providing service of time, talent and treasure (monetary donations) is one of the special hallmarks of the National Guard.  As a member of the command staff of the unit, Christine encourages all members to take an active part in their own communities and neighborhoods.

Model Core Values

Christine says; “For my kids and other young adults I hope to set an example by upholding the core values of the National Guard;

• Excellence in all we do
• Service before self
• Integrity first

If they can emulate these standards and character traits, they will see and experience what makes America great and be proud to contribute to the freedom we enjoy.”

As parents of Christine L. Wright, whether we call her Sir, Ma’am or Honey, we know that America is in good hands with women like her in leadership positions.

Hello from Montana:

Can Young Children be Expected to Have Manners?

We have a house full of visitors this summer and lots of children running in and out of the doors, and lots of fingers grabbing for food.  I am struck by how kind some of the children are and how thoughtless others seem to be.  It doesn't seem to be a manner of training, since they come from similar backgrounds and are similar ages.It does seem to be clear that one family has consistent expectations, and the other does not always follow through with training or discipline.

Friendliness is Basis of all Relationships

Being a considerate and helpful friend is one of the simplest and most appreciated good manners that a person of any age can have. The first response usually sets the tone for the relationship and a simple smile and hello is always welcome.  If the adult is a relative or close friend, hugs are always a hit.  While I would never insist that a child hug or kiss someone if they feel uncomfortable, a three to five year old can be expected to look at the person and say hello.  Some children feel comfortable shaking hands, which is a sure sign of respect for the older person.

Older Children Need to be Taught to Introduce Others

Between six to nine years, most children can handle a simple introduction like, "Mom, this is my friend Chase Brown, who is in my class. Chase, this is my Mom, Mrs. Jones."  Help them to understand that introductions go "oldest to youngest, then youngest to oldest." Also by mentioning his mother's last name, Chase is given a subtle hint on what she would like to be called. It is good manners to call adults Mr. or Mrs. unless the adult gives the child permission to address them by another name.

By the age of ten or twelve, a child should have developed enough interpersonal skills to  introduce themselves to adults, shake hands and say "I am glad to have met you." or "Thank you for inviting me, I had a nice time." when leaving.

Moving from Greeting to Conversation

The basis of manners is making the other person feel at ease and comfortable in your presence. One way you do that is to talk about what interests them. Teach children to ask questions (but not too personal) to the other person. Help them to focus on what the other person is saying, verbally and non verbally in order to get conversation clues.

Pleasure to Meet Polite People

Children, teens and adults who are polite, well mannered and well behaved stand out in our mind.  They appear confident and self assured and are a pleasure to be around.

The life skills of  greeting, getting along and building relationships, will put your child in good stead for the rest of his or her life. The polite person is well regarded in the workplace and community.  It is well worth the effort to expect good manners at all times and remind them when they forget to say "thank you" and "you are welcome."

You may want to do role playing to teach these valuable skills.  You can practice greeting people and moving into a conversation. Children are much more confident when they have had an opportunity to practice and know the words to say.

If you are spending time teaching your children manners this summer, I commend you. Be sure to check out http://www.EncourageSelfConfidence.com for my latest book and some excellent bonus items.  You will be glad you did.