Ask Auntie Artichoke

Our success in relationships, business, sports and spiritual endeavors is largely determined by our self image and confidence.  Those who exhibit confidence in themselves and their choices seem to attract good things, people and experiences to their lives.

It seems as those who have learned the tricks and tips of self confidence seem to be magnets for better treatment, more opportunities and deeper relationships. It is in our best interest to learn some of the ways that confident people think and act, so that we too may share the joy and good fortune.

Here are 5 Tips that we have incorporated in our family to build confidence

1. Focus on your strengths and hire out your weaknesses.  Of course you can do the lawn work, and straighten the garage, and run a business, but you are best at running the business. Barter, trade or hire others who are good at what you are not to do it faster and better.
2. Visualize yourself succeeding. If you can see a clear picture of what success will look and feel like, you increase your chances of reaching it.
3. Ask for others to teach and mentor you.  The most flattering question to an expert is “Wow, I am impressed. Will you teach me how to do that?”  It is important to cultivate people who will help you to grow and develop your talents. Even the very act of asking is empowering.  Determine what you want and keep asking until you get it.
4. Replace negative self talk with positive affirmations. Many of our beliefs and actions come from words or actions that others have given us in the past. They may not have been true then and they certainly are not true now. You have the power and duty to say to yourself over and over again  ”I may have been Late (or lazy,disorganized,unkind,procrastinator etc.) in the past, but now and forever more I am choosing to be on time every time (or industrious,organized,kind, prompt etc.)
5. Recognize there are a number of solutions to every situation. There is no one and only way to do anything. People who get locked into “my way” thinking, lose sight of the creative, innovative and imaginative ways to solve problems.

All of us have weaknesses and insecurities. The trick is to take a good look at how those past belief systems got there and if they are serving us well.  If not, then as an intelligent person who has choices in life. Choose to let those things go that do not serve us and incorporate those habits and beliefs that do help us to succeed.

The world needs strong, confident people to step up in relationships, businesses, communities and neighborhoods.  It is time to assume the mantle of confidence and esteem and recognize you have much to contribute and share.

I have confidence in you.

If you would like additional assistance in overcoming negative thoughts and actions, please go to http://www.encourageselfconfidence.com for a powerful book and bonus items.  You will feel that it was created just for you.  And it was.

Most basic non verbal communication gestures are universal. When people are happy, they smile, when sad or angry most will signal unhappiness with a frown or a scowl. Babies are soothed by patting them on the back. Toddlers and young children shake their head from side to side when they want to indicate disagreement or they have had enough.

A shoulder shrug is another good example of a body gesture that indicates the listener does not understand or know what you are talking about. This clue or signal tells you to explain more about what you are asking, or put your request in terms the listener can get. Be aware of the signals for success.

Verbal Communication is the Language of Information

The words, tone of voice and vocabulary is important in sharing information. However, it is only worth about 20% of whether the client will buy your product or you.  Scientists have found that we are much more likely to buy from someone who speaks to us in our right ear. The words are processed by the left side of the brain which is more logical and better at deciphering verbal information.

Non-Verbal Communication is the Language of Relationships

People like to do business with those they know, like and trust. Once you have established a rapport with the other person, they will want to help you succeed. The more you can connect with the other person, the more they will believe what you say and do.

Body language comes in clusters of signals and postures, depending on a number of circumstances including internal emotions. Interpreting a number of signals is much more reliable than just making a judgment or decision based on one non verbal clue.

Key Elements to Watch

• Eyes communicate more than any other part of human anatomy
• Facial gestures-smiles, grimace, open
• Hand  and arm gestures- palms up, hand shake firm, position of authority
• Touch – safe touch for women, comfort and support, personal space
• Posture – confident, shoulders back, how you sit in a chair or lean on desk
• Movement – not fidgety or nervous, but deliberate
• Appearance – congruent with what you are saying
• Voice – modulation and tone varied and interesting

Trust Your Intuition

People tend to believe what others are doing, much more than what they are saying. If there is a discrepancy between words and actions, we usually trust their non verbal signals. So, listen to your intuition if it says something is too good to be true. It probably is.

Hello from beautiful Montana:

Do you know the two factors which all successful people have in common? According to Jane Kitson aka Mother Goose speaking at a recent child care conference, it is the ability to read and to think in creative ways to solve problems.

Transitions from summer vacations to daily structure of school time can be tough. For kids, parents and especially for teachers.  Teachers everywhere are thinking about the upcoming challenges that will be awaiting them in the classroom, playground, gymnasium, lunch room, faculty lounge and halls of the school.

Did you even know that you could take your summer child care expenses off of your IRS taxes? If you are a working parent or even one who is looking for work, keep those receipts for any of the day care or summer camps your children participated in.