Ask Auntie Artichoke

Do you know why it is so much easier to harvest negative thoughts

Plant positive thoughts and actions with affirmations. Just as you choose to put good food in your body, put good thoughts in your mind.

and beliefs from our minds and actions? Do you know how to plant positive thoughts with affirmations? We are what we think about, so it is in our best interest to think positive thoughts.

Law of Attraction – Thoughts equal Actions

When we begin search for great self knowledge, in any recovery program or just in the inner soul examinations we may feel that all we are seeing are character flaws. One reason the negative thoughts come up so easily is because parents, siblings, teachers and religious leaders were so eager to tell us what we were doing was wrong.

If those messages came from someone we trusted, we probably believed what they were saying. and then the thoughts became belief systems and we acted according to them.

Minds Are Like Gardens

When you plant a bean seed, you not only get a bean but multiples of beans. It is a law of nature, that what you plant multiplies in gestation. It is the same thing with thoughts. When you plant, or have planted negative thoughts into your sub-consious mind, you will have many, many more negative thoughts and thus actions.

Plant Positive Thoughts With Affirmations

In psychology, an affirmation is a positive thought or statement declaring (or affirming) that a desired goal has been reached or is within reach. When using affirmations, think of them as planting positive flowers or seeds. You can expect to see more as they grow and develop and spread to other areas of your life.

Repeat Affirmations Many Times  Daily

• I am a kind and loving person.
• I am strong and healthy.
• I am a problem solver and look for new solutions to old problems.
• It is easy for me to learn new methods of doing things.
• I smile at people because I am glad to be alive and to share my life with them.
• I will list 3 things I am grateful for tonight before I go to sleep. I have many to choose from.
• I am a fortunate person and good things happen to me.

I have confidence in your ability to change your negative thoughts to positive actions with the use of affirmations.

You are invited to go to this website for great ideas for you.http://www.confidenceclues.com

Parents and families are the foundations of the world.  Dads are important to children and society as a whole.

fathers are important in the lives of their children

What we fail to teach in childhood, can never truly be made up for in adulthood.  As important as mothers are in nurturing and guiding children, it is vital that we understand and encourage dads to take part in preparing the child for society.

Dads are important not only to their children and step-children but to strengthening the society as a whole.  The typical father spends about seven hours per week in “primary child care.”  That may not sound like a lot of time bonding, connecting and teaching but it is twice as much as was recorded in 1965.

Society Needs Imput From Both Parents, Grandparents and Teachers

Rather than competing for the attentions of the baby or child, we should consider the partnership of all the caring adults who love and guide a child into adulthood.  We really do need a village to raise a kind, thoughtful, respectful and understanding child.  These are attributes that can be taught and reinforced from a myriad of loving, kind and concerned adults.

Economy Changing Face of ChildCare

No longer is the mother staying at home to raise children while the father goes out to earn the living.  The economy worldwide is dictating that parenting, childcare and day to day involvement may be shared or even shifted to the Dad.

Psychologists and sociologists agree that the father is supposed to be the chief transmitter of culturally based concepts of what is masculine and what is feminine.  Growing up beside a loving dad who talks, has interest in activities, sets guidelines and gives wise discipline will set any child on a journey of success.

Dads are important to children and if there is not one in the life of your child, find a kind, safe and loving mentor who can teach and share the lessons of life that only a man can teach. Life lessons from dads can influence a child’s life forever.

You are invited to go to http://www.encouageselfconfidence.com to learn new techniques which will reframe negative thoughts and belief patterns into positive actions. You will be very glad you did.

Adult  vs. Childhood Trauma

Adult trauma is the experience of a bodily or emotional event, usually negative, as an adult verses a childhood happening. A traumatic episode can have a lasting psychic effect on both an adult or child, but especially on children who are still forming their personality.

Adult vs childhood trauma effects how the person sees adversity or negative events that occur in the journey of life.  Those who have had a strong support system and have been able to process what happened are more capable of handling additional stress than those who had no one to help them deal with the negative trauma.

Is It Trauma or Just Stressful Incident

Adults who have experienced trauma as children are more likely to perceive events in their grown lives as traumatic rather than stressful.  Adults who have had fairly trauma-free early lives tend to perceive negative  events and experiences as more isolated and have a greater stress tolerance.

Adults and children who have not dealt successfully with the  past traumatic events tend to link their current trauma to past events.  By processing and working through a traumatic event, whether as an adult or child, allows the individual to put it in a wider context of life.

The individual learns great coping skills that can transfer to other areas of life.

Do Some People Attract Trauma

Some scientific studies have shown that those with early childhood trauma  which has never been resolved or processed continue to experience more trauma as adults. The debate is how much it is a matter of perception or choice to keep attracting that to which they have unfortunately become accustomed.  Some people create crisis situations because they have become accustomed to being in crisis.

Negative Belief Systems Can Be Changed

If you were involved in either Adult or Childhood Trauma, you will want to re-examine your belief system and make sure it is serving you now.  If not, then reframe the trauma and process the experience so it is not repeated.

I would invite you to check out

http://www.EncourageSelfConfidence.com for a more complete look on how to modify your belief systems. You deserve to put the past behind you and become more confident in the future.

Sing Away Sadness, Anxiety and Worry.  Huh?  You have got to be kidding?  Come on stick with me here. This really will work, at least for 3 minutes at a time.  What do you have to lose?

Climb every Mountain.. The Hills are alive with the Sound of Music…

Can you see Julie Andrews on the Mountain side raising her arms and her voice as she encouraged the Von Trapp family to keep going in the face of adversity? She encouraged them and herself with music and movemehnt.

When we are going through hard times, depression, anxiety, worries or feel that our lives are out of control, we don’t want to sing, we want to go bed and crawl under the covers.

But studies and personal experience has shown that just the mere act of making a decision and moving forward in some small way causes serotonin in your brain to release. This means that you start to feel and act happier.

Dance Wildly and Sing Loudly

Turn out your radio to a good station. (That does not mean a talk show or the news- then you really will be depressed).  Each song lasts about three minutes.  Make a decision to be happy for the next three minutes and while the song is playing sing along as loud or louder than the singer.

It really doesn’t matter how well you can sing or even if you can’t carry a tune in a bucket!  The very act of expressing yourself with music, song and deep breaths will lift your spirit.

Think of Julie Andrews lifting the corners of her apron as she danced and sang.

Now you do it. Come on. Dance around like a fool and sing at the top of your lungs. Don’t you feel lighter letting some of those emotions float out of your body and into the universe?

Are You Smiling?

See it worked.

You can’t hold a sad thought and smile at the same time. It is physically impossible to smile and have negative thoughts in your mind.

Doesn’t it feel good to feel good for even a few minutes?  If you can feel happier for three minutes every hour or even every day, wouldn’t it be worth it to sing away that sadness, anxiety and worry?  I am going to keep doing it.  Won’t you sing with me?

I’m smiling with you, not at you.

I am also inviting you to share other tips and ideas on building self confidence and overcoming anxiety by going to http://www.EncourageSelfConfidence.com You will want to claim the free eBook and recording. You will feel like they were created just for you.  And they were.

Hello from beautiful Montana:

Body Language is the communication of relationships.  Verbal language is the communication of information and is really only processed and remembered about 20% of the time. Model confidence in your posture, gestures, facial expressions and approachability and you will gain friends and influence people.

Model Confidence of Others

One of the best ways to learn a new skill or behavior is to watch someone else demonstrate that behavior.  This is especially true if the person you are modeling is someone you admire.

So watch how they greet others, do they extend the hand of friendship or stand against the wall?  Do they take a seat near the front of the room and join in the conversation or sit in the back of the room and try not to be noticed?

Confident body language is about being comfortable in your own skin. It is about making others feel comfortable to be around you.

I like to say confidence is walking into a room and saying “Here I am, what can I do to help?”  It is not about ego or pride, but rather about self-esteem and self-efficacy, which is how you use your confidence for the good of others.

Rehearse Confidence

Knowing what to do in difficult situations can make a person feel more competent, comfortable and in control.  You would not learn to ski by jumping off the top of a mountain, and you will not learn the skill of confidence in one lesson.

You will learn more easily if you watch and model your mannerisms, body language and confidence one step at a time.

How does the leader of the group stand? Is he or she standing with feel a little apart, shoulders back and arms either at the side or making small gestures?  Then you can do that. Practice this skill and you will find yourself more and more comfortable.

Smile at Others

Watch how your mentor smiles and follow the example.  Try smiling with your whole face and watch how others will be drawn to you.

Your body language will soon begin to model confidence in yourself and your surroundings.

If you enjoyed this article you will want to go to http://www.encourageselfconfidence.com for a wonderful book filled with methods to increase your confidence, friends and opportunities for a more positive life experience.  You will feel it was written just for you. And it was.

Model the positive body language of others and become more confident

Hello from Montana:

Can Young Children be Expected to Have Manners?

We have a house full of visitors this summer and lots of children running in and out of the doors, and lots of fingers grabbing for food.  I am struck by how kind some of the children are and how thoughtless others seem to be.  It doesn't seem to be a manner of training, since they come from similar backgrounds and are similar ages.It does seem to be clear that one family has consistent expectations, and the other does not always follow through with training or discipline.

Friendliness is Basis of all Relationships

Being a considerate and helpful friend is one of the simplest and most appreciated good manners that a person of any age can have. The first response usually sets the tone for the relationship and a simple smile and hello is always welcome.  If the adult is a relative or close friend, hugs are always a hit.  While I would never insist that a child hug or kiss someone if they feel uncomfortable, a three to five year old can be expected to look at the person and say hello.  Some children feel comfortable shaking hands, which is a sure sign of respect for the older person.

Older Children Need to be Taught to Introduce Others

Between six to nine years, most children can handle a simple introduction like, "Mom, this is my friend Chase Brown, who is in my class. Chase, this is my Mom, Mrs. Jones."  Help them to understand that introductions go "oldest to youngest, then youngest to oldest." Also by mentioning his mother's last name, Chase is given a subtle hint on what she would like to be called. It is good manners to call adults Mr. or Mrs. unless the adult gives the child permission to address them by another name.

By the age of ten or twelve, a child should have developed enough interpersonal skills to  introduce themselves to adults, shake hands and say "I am glad to have met you." or "Thank you for inviting me, I had a nice time." when leaving.

Moving from Greeting to Conversation

The basis of manners is making the other person feel at ease and comfortable in your presence. One way you do that is to talk about what interests them. Teach children to ask questions (but not too personal) to the other person. Help them to focus on what the other person is saying, verbally and non verbally in order to get conversation clues.

Pleasure to Meet Polite People

Children, teens and adults who are polite, well mannered and well behaved stand out in our mind.  They appear confident and self assured and are a pleasure to be around.

The life skills of  greeting, getting along and building relationships, will put your child in good stead for the rest of his or her life. The polite person is well regarded in the workplace and community.  It is well worth the effort to expect good manners at all times and remind them when they forget to say "thank you" and "you are welcome."

You may want to do role playing to teach these valuable skills.  You can practice greeting people and moving into a conversation. Children are much more confident when they have had an opportunity to practice and know the words to say.

If you are spending time teaching your children manners this summer, I commend you. Be sure to check out http://www.EncourageSelfConfidence.com for my latest book and some excellent bonus items.  You will be glad you did.

Hello from beautiful Montana:

Character is the set of qualities that makes a person distinctive.  It is an outward manifestation of what you believe inside your mind and spirit.  It is your nature, personality and moral fiber. Your character is the attitude and set of mind which indicates to others who are and what you stand for.

Zigg Ziglar once wrote something that changed my perspective on life and has helped me to see more clearly about how character is formed. He said "When you sow an action, you reap a habit; when you sow a habit, you reap a character; and when you sow a character, you reap a destiny."

Minds are Like Gardens

It is spring now in Montana, an especially beautiful time, and people are preparing to plant their crops and develop their gardens.  When they plant a pea seed, they recognize they will get multiples of peas.  When a bean seed goes in the ground and is nourished, we can count of having a whole bowl of beans for dinner.

Our thoughts and actions are developed and nourished in the same way. When they reach the fertile soul of our subconscious, they multiply and become more than they were.

Plant and Practice These Character Traits

There are many positive character traits and attributes we want to move from thought, action, habit into character and finally destiny.  But I have found that there are 6  individual seeds of character that when planted will multiply into hundreds of smaller categories of goodness.

Each Day Strive To Develop These 6 Areas of Character

1.  Trustworthy- tell the truth
2.   Responsible- Be there when you say you will
3.   Respect – Show consideration for all
4.   Care – practice the Golden Rule
5.   Community- think of how your actions affect others in family or group
6.   Fair – Learn to cooperate and find win-win answers to situations

The World is a Better Place, One Person at a Time

Thank you for being you and for wanting to build a better you, family, neighborhood, community, area and world.  We can do it, by building and developing positive character strengths.

In gratitude,

Judy H. Wright, aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship coach and author
http://www.ArtichokePres.com

Hello from beautiful Montana:

Do you have pictures in your mind of past experiences? Are they all pleasant and pleasing or do some of them make you sad, angry or resentful?

I collect art work based on the theme of mother and child.  Some of my best ones have been found at yard sales or thrift shops.  When I get them home, I see that the frame is damaged or the wrong color for where I want to place the art. So I make a decision to re-frame the picture. To look at it critically and in a new light and decide how it will be framed and matted to add to the overall scheme of things in my life. It also makes the art work truly mine, since I have chosen to make it better.

We Have Choices

Re-framing has to do with the process of consciously choosing how you remember the events in your past. You cannot make previous experiences go away. They did happen. They are a part of you and your history. If you were abused as a child and it is a horrible memory which makes you wary of relationships, you can't change the abuse but you can look at it in a different light.

You then have the ability to step back from the experience and look at it with mature eyes of love. You must be able to look at the past event and see what you can find that was right and good. 

Can't Fix the Past But Can Change the Future

We are trained to look at what is wrong in life and try to fix it and so we have to choose to search out the good that is in the experience.

Virginia Dunstone, M.S. in her  book Why Do I Do What I Do  suggests these simple questions that if answered honestly about past experiences and memories can be life altering.

1. Can I change what happened?
2. What is right about this picture?
3. What does this situation teach me?
4. Who would I be without this experience?
5. Who are the teachers in this memory?
6. What did they teach me?
7. How can I serve others with what I have experienced?

What is The Gift in The Experience

Just as the inexpensive art work found at yard sales becomes a valuable treasure when re-framed and put in the right context, so will your thoughts and memories. You will learn to look at situations and events from the past with new understanding and forgiveness for those who took a part in teaching you a life lesson.

I am Confident in Your Ability to Re-frame Your Thoughts and Memories

You are a good person and have many gifts to share with the world. It will be exciting to see those gifts with new frames.

With love,

Judy H. Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship coach and author
http://www.ArtichokePress.com

Hello from beautiful Montana:

Have you ever heard an infectious laugh? People start giggling in the movie and pretty soon everyone is smiling and laughing along with them. Just as cold and flu germs are spread from person to person, so are attitudes and moods.  How you feel  and act may be your business, but being around you can determine how others feel and act. 

Moods Infect Others

Happiness Effect is a study done by social and political scientists at Harvard and the University of California, San Diego.  This 20 year study found that emotions can pass among a network of people up to three degrees of separation away.

Here is how it works. One person is happy and he contacts with a neighbor. That pleasant contact with another person can increase the neighbor's happiness by 34 percent. He connects with his sibling who lives nearby and the siblings happiness quota goes up by 14 percent.  He then visits with a friend whose happiness is increased by 25 percent.

Your Attitude Affects the Attitudes of Friends and Family

In the cases sited above, envision what happens as each person becomes happier. Just like an epidemic of virus, the happy bug is then passed on to more and more people in ever increasing circles of influence.

Unfortunately, the downside is that if you are negative, pessimistic and grouchy, that attitude will spread just as readily. The more negative you are, the more your physical and mental health is affected in a negative way.

The people who will be the most influenced are the ones who are central to your network. If you are important to me and my life, I will be more influenced than the interaction of complete strangers.

Center for Disease Control

The Center for Disease Control is now studying how positive affirmations can help improve mood and well being. They are using Facebook and other social media to spread the positive message of the power of positive messages.

So I will smile and share positive messages with others.  How about you?

In gratitude and love,

Judy H. Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship coach and author

PS: I invite you to go to http://www.EncourageSelfConfidence.comfor ideas on how to re-frame negative belief systems that no longer serve you.

Hello from beautiful Montana

Teaching, training, speaking, writing, giving, giving, giving. For the last
25 years I have been active as a family educator, writer,  and community volunteer.

The amount of
wisdom I have gathered from research and observation of families filled books
and drawers and stacks of papers on the floor.I have nearly a hundred binders on my shelves with my notes on the different
topics I have taught. 

My Destiny is to Share a Message

From the time I was a young girl I have known that I
would have six children, write books and teach families all over the world and
live to be 97 years old. (Someday I will share how this Epiphany happened, but
now back to this story!)

Ducks All In A Row and Nobody Cares

When I heard the term Messenger, I knew that was what I was. I had a message
about respect, kindness and communication that needed to be sent out globally.
My vision board was completed, business plan done, affirmations repeated,
website built, articles submitted,radio show started,social network tweeted,
etc. etc. etc. Every time some "guru" said jump, I jumped even if on
the way up I was thinking how that really was not me and my message.

Done Good for Years Now Time to DO Well

I had the products, the platform and the people who knew, liked and trusted
me. But no one was buying. I did not know the process to get people to buy. My
experience was in giving, not asking for money. And yet, perfectly rational
people were dropping thousands and thousands of dollars on crap and empty
promises packaged in a vinyl folder to set on their shelves. Oh yeah that was
me!

Found Information Product That Resonated with Me

I found this in my file and it had been there since 2005! It seemed to jump
out and me and I realized it had the information I needed right now. check it
out.  If may be the right information for you right now (or 3 years down
the road!)Learn about passive income from a young man, who walks his walk—Christopher Westr.  I bought it and am trying to incorporate the ideas, which seem reasonable and easy to do.

Click Here!

Don't be
Discouraged!  Just hang in there.

I want to be on your support team.  If you want a honest opinion of
what is worth buying, trust your heart and trust me.  I have probably
bought it and then regretted it or did not understand what they were talking
about.

Hope to see you soon.  We are going to Victoria BC for hubby's birthday.

Love,

Judy H. Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship coach and author

http://www.ArtichokePress.com