Ask Auntie Artichoke

Expert on Parenting and Family Relationships

Ask Auntie Artichoke - Expert on Parenting and Family Relationships

Emotional Phases of a Teen After an Accident

car accident

Emotional Phases of a Teen After an Accident

This time of year spells the end of the school year for most of our children. Thoughts and anticipation of some respite from the rigors of academia are usually paramount to the student. For some, graduation from high school marks an important milestone, the beginning of their adulthood, and sometimes their independence from home.

In the excitement and celebratory atmosphere, many teens find themselves hurt in accidents, primarily because teenagers underestimate crash risks in hazardous situations and overestimate their driving abilities. The chances of being involved in an accident also goes up when teens have other peers as passengers in their cars. And of course, events such as graduation practice, commencement ceremonies and end-of-school parties give them the opportunities to travel with each other.

It can be very difficult for anyone to deal with the emotional trauma that is associated with being involved in an accident, that is more than a mere fender bender. But for the young driver, this problem is often exacerbated by their youth. After all, most children have a very tenuous grasp on exactly how life and death works, and it is common for them to feel somewhat invincible. Due to this, a serious injury caused by an accident can be such a traumatic event that a child could have a hard time returning to a state of normalcy. If the accident happened to involve getting tangled with a behemoth semi-truck, the experience could be even more traumatic for the young and frightened driver. Just the size of a big rig can be daunting against the size of whatever the teenager was driving.

1. Guilt – guilt is an extremely common emotion that most people feel after an accident. If the driver was the at-fault driver and others were injured, guilt can become severe and overwhelming. Help your teen’s healing process by encouraging him to admit his responsibility and atone for it. The worst thing you can do as a parent is to minimize the situation and deny his wrongdoing.

2. Fear – Many people experience fear at the scene of an accident and after. For a young and inexperienced driver, this fear can be magnified. The teen might not know the steps to take right after an accident. He might be afraid that his driving rights will be taken away. In his imagination, the teen might think that his punishment will be severe with the law. Prepare your teen for this by teaching him the steps to take immediately after an accident. Depending on his age, you might have to accompany him if he has a court date.

3. Anger – Anger is another emotion that can be very strong after an accident. Maybe there is anger from your teen because his car, which is the symbol of his independence, has been totaled. There’s the monetary loss he can be angry about too. If he was seriously injured, extreme anger can set in after he realizes that his life may not ever return to the way it was. The step to healing is to forgive the person who caused him harm. This might require extensive therapy until your child can reach that stage.

4. Anxiety  Sometimes, the emotions that a person feels after a trauma can be delayed. Your teen may become riddled with anxiety, perhaps become nervous about being in a car again, let alone get behind the wheel of one. Anxiety about dealing with injuries and recovery can become severe, especially if he will have to make any adaptations to his every day life. Therapy can be a big help in giving him coping mechanisms. Sometimes, medication can be very effective.

5. Action – After your teenager has gone through the typical emotions listed above and is further on his way to healing from the accident trauma, encourage him to take action. Assist him in finding a personal injury lawyer who can get him compensation for his traumatic experience. If the accident involved a truck, he will need an experienced lawyer because “Trucking companies have powerful insurance companies on their sides, and they may be hesitant to pay the money you deserve,” according to Cofman Townsley. Also make your child aware that the insurance company is not his friend. They will want to settle the case quickly, which is not always in your child’s best interests.

Being there to support your child’s emotional needs after an accident will help them get back to their normal routine more quickly. Keep in mind that part of his lawsuit can be centered around recovering his medical and mental health expenses. You will also be teaching him a valuable lesson – how to be proactive in times of distress.

Writer Debbie Nguyen had to instill calmness after her son’s first accident because he was so frightened that he would be incarcerated. His inexperience magnified his fear.

Photo Credit: https://www.flickr.com/photos/ms-ito/1405565784/

Thank you for being part of our community of kind, thoughtful people who have respect for all.  Be sure to claim your  free download and find out how to have Judy Helm Wright aka “Auntie Artichoke” speak at your next convention or in-service.  You can contact her at http://www.judyhwright.com   You will be glad you did.

Losing The Career They Dedicated Their Life To – When Your Spouse Comes Home From The Sea

USNS Tippecanoe merchant marine prepares to attach cargo to Sea Hawk.

Losing The Career They Dedicated Their Life To – When Your Spouse Comes Home From The Sea

A lifelong career as a merchant marine can be a rewarding profession. Theyenjoy the freedom of working at sea, getting to see new areas of the world, meeting new people, and being paid well for their efforts. But, what happens when you or your loved one are no longer able to continue on this lucrative career path because of an accident that was perhaps beyond your control?

Coping With The Loss

As with any career, losing your position or job completely can be devastating on your psyche and your income. People often feel angry and sad; they blame themselves or others for the situation. As the partner of someone who has lost a career that he or she was passionate about, you can offer support in several ways:

1.    Be patient. Understand that your loved one is in distress and give them time to deal with that emotion. Any life-changing event, such as a job loss, is similar to experiencing a death in the family. You need time to process everything and come to terms with it on your own.

2.    Be empathetic. While your loved one deals with the pain of losing a job, especially if it was a result of an accident, try to put yourself in their shoes. Instead of being the voice of reason or logic, let your partner know you understand how they feel. Empathy will go a long way in helping your loved one recover from this loss both psychologically and physically (if they were injured, for example).

3.    Be supportive. Help in any way you can to ease the pain of the loss of your partner’s career. If they were the major breadwinner in the relationship, they’re most likely feeling stressed about no longer being able to provide financially. Let them know that you are there to help through this transition – even if it means cutting back on a few extraneous expenses until your partner embarks on their next career path.

Discuss Other Options

Even though your loved one may have dedicated their life to a career in the maritime industry, help them explore other career options – especially if they are no longer able to work as a result of a physical disability from an accident on the job. Once they recover physically, if your partner is still able to work, what are their other skills? What job have they always thought about if they didn’t have a maritime career? Explore options that include hobbies and interests. Perhaps one of them can become the next career.

Can You Get Financial Compensation?

In some cases, depending on the circumstance of the accident, if your loved one was the victim in a crash and suffered injuries that have forced them to give up their lifelong career, you may be entitled to financial compensation or workers’ compensation to help you through this difficult time. You can watch this video, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_mB6iCsBsdY, for more information and learn how to contact an experienced maritime attorney to review your case. An experienced lawyer will be able to determine whether or not you are eligible for financial compensation that may help you pay medical expenses and even cover lost wages while your loved one is out of work. Receiving financial assistance at this difficult, emotional time in your lives as a couple can certainly ease the burden of money-related stresses so you can focus on recovering physically and emotionally.

You Are In This Together

When a situation such as a job loss occurs, for whatever reason, let your partner know you are in this together. For the sake of your relationship, try not to place blame, and focus on recovering together. You are in it for better or worse. Know that you can make it through together and become stronger as a result.

Nadine Swayne understands the importance of uplifting a loved one after a traumatic accident that affects the family. By researching online, she found this valuable information and contact video to help others.

Photo credit: https://flic.kr/p/9vUGAm

Thank you for being part of our community of kind, thoughtful people who have respect for all.  Be sure to claim your  free download and find out how to have Judy Helm Wright aka “Auntie Artichoke” speak at your next convention or in-service.  You can contact her at http://www.judyhwright.com   You will be glad you did.

Captain Courageous: How Sailing Can Boost Your Self Esteem

Rostocker sailboat

Captain Courageous: How Sailing Can Boost Your Self Esteem

Low self-esteem can have a negative impact on the every day aspects of your life. However, a hobby such as sailing can help build your self-esteem and give it the positive focus and happiness that you may be missing out of your life.

Exercise

There are a host of components that sailing can bring to your life. Cardiovascular movements through sailing can boost your endorphins and contribute to your health and wellness. Sailing is a vigorous sport that takes flexibility, agility and concentration. You can also build up muscle endurance with the repetitive movements.

Individuals who are active in a series of sporting activities such as sailing have been shown to have more confidence, especially when taught from a pro. It is very important to get lessons before taking on a sail boat in order to prevent boating accidents. As noted by one attorney at the Perecman Firm,”When a boat accident is caused by driver negligence, or the negligence of a product manufacturer, they can be held responsible for the harm caused.”

Positivity

Sailing early is a great way to start your morning. The sunny weather and focusing on something that fills your life with purpose and excitement can help overtake any feelings of inadequacy. The fresh air and enjoying the outdoors can also bring confidence when you’re an active participant in life. So many people with low self-esteem take a back seat and hide from life’s tasks. Sailing can help you find fulfillment and that sense of accomplishment in tackling an activity that takes a great deal of effort to understand.

Expert Training

In order to gain the necessary self-confidence, you need to learn from an expert. Learning to sail properly can take time, especially when you have to learn the appropriate terminology and mechanics of the sail boat. The open waters can be extremely dangerous if you don’t know how to properly navigate them. You’ll find a host of beginner courses for the novice sailor that can aid in your new hobby.

You should also start out simply by learning on a smaller boat. Once you’ve gained the experience, you’ll be ready to move toward something more challenging. An expert can also teach you what to do if you find yourself involved in a maritime accident. The weather, lack of life vests, inexperienced boating, drinking and hot dogging can all contribute to a water accident.

If you find yourself involved in a sailing accident, you want to begin by assessing injuries. You also need to notify the authorities and seek immediate assistance. For accidents of a more serious nature, you may even need the assistance of an accident injury attorney to handle your claim.

Relaxation

Sailing is a sport that can help clear your mind and help rid it of any toxicity. When an individual is experiencing low self-esteem, focusing on the negativity can be the primary train of thought for many. Being out on the open waters and enjoying a picture perfect day can help combat your worries and replace them with reasons to be happy.

Whether your self-esteem took a hit with a recent divorce or you’ve lacked it throughout your life, you can boost your confidence through various sports such as sailing. Physical activity and finding hobbies that are complimentary to your personality, such as sailing, can boost your mood and elevate how you perceive yourself.

Nadine Swayne presents this article to those who are striving to be the captain of their life. She researched the term accident injury attorney and found solid information regarding boating accidents and steps to take to navigate through troubled times.

Photo credit: https://flic.kr/p/9W1hDX

 

 

 

 

 

4 Step Model For Setting Boundaries–Be Firm, But Kind (EXPERT)

We teach people how to treat us by allowing them to step on our boundaries and hurt our feelings. This is an excellent article about the 4 steps to setting boundaries in a firm, kind voice that sends a message of how we want to be treated. For more information, please go to http://artichokepress.com which has a full listing of books, videos, e-learning and articles to enhance family relationships and build strong, resilient family members.

What To Do If Your Child Has Violent Tendencies

Bully

What To Do If Your Child Has Violent Tendencies

Most parents have the highest hopes and anticipation for our children. When your visions of success and happiness are thwarted because of your child’s violent tendencies, parents may be tempted to deny that your child needs help or that your child’s tendencies will resolve themselves over time. However, ignoring or prolonging your offspring’s violent outbursts is the worst course of action you can take if you hope to restore any desires that your child will be happy and successful in the future.

Rather than give into the worry, fear, embarrassment, and stress that come with having a violent child, parents can instead take these prompt and necessary steps to lead your child to a healthy and meaningful future.

What Makes A Kid Violent?

It’s been proven that excessive exposure to violence through popular media like movies, TV shows and video games contribute to a child’s violent behavior. It desensitizes children to the violence and can make them adopt aggressive behavior. By the time a typical American child reaches the age of 18, he has already been exposed to almost 200,000 acts of violence seen on TV. Popular video games like Grand Theft Auto also rewards violent and destructive behavior.

If a child has suffered some trauma to his brain, this injury can also add to his violent behavior. Use of drugs and alcohol, violence or economic strain in the family can be factors too. Children at risk are those who have problems with being impulsive, irritable, and easily frustrated.

Accept The Problem For What It Is

Some parents may be ready to gloss over your child’s emotional and mental outbursts as a normal developmental stage or a bout of immaturity that will surely go away over time. Minimizing your child’s violent tendencies, however, only serves to deflect the responsibility of getting your child much needed help and addressing the issue for what it really is. Many parents avoid recognizing your child’s outbursts because you may feel embarrassed or that you are to blame for your child’s behavior. Instead of focusing on how you feel, however, you should think ahead about what is best for your child and act promptly to get your son or daughter the professional help they need.

As parents, you must also think of the safety of other children, like siblings or schoolmates, who might be at the receiving end of mean acts. Is your violent child being a typical “brat” or is he taking bullying to a dangerous level? Does he need constant monitoring because he is not to be trusted with playing nice or being left alone with other kids?

Seek Help Through The Professional Community

You may try to keep your child out of the medical establishment by taking your offspring to counseling sessions with religious leaders or natural healers. While it may be perfectly acceptable to adhere to religious or lifestyle beliefs during your child’s recovery, parents are still encouraged to seek out qualified medical help for your child’s violent tendencies. A team of doctors, licensed psychiatrists, and mentors are the ideal choices for heading up a child’s emotional and mental treatment.

In the case of a troubled child, the causes might come from social issues which need to be addressed. A specialist in juvenile justice who also happens to work as a life coach in Seattle for at-risk kids, suggests that the child’s failure to thrive could be because of an addiction, and that he could use help with “releasing stress, reframing and keeping boundary maintenance, and improved communication.” A child may have to be hospitalized, put on medications, or go through other intense medical therapies that can help him recover from the emotional or mental distress that causes his violent behavior. The coach also works with the whole family, to help repair the dynamics between the child and his parents and siblings. Each child is different so the course of action for your particular family would be worked out by the coach with your family’s participation.

Commit To Long-Term Monitoring And Care

Once your child has been treated and shows signs of improvement, don’t be quick to dismiss his behavior and believe that the problem is resolved permanently. Few children recover quickly from violent emotional and mental behaviors. Many kids face years of treatment for their behavior, making it necessary for their parents to commit to a long-term care plan that ultimately should lead to the child’s successful recovery. Falsely believing that the treatment will be short-lived and resolved in a few short weeks or months can set you up for disappointment and frustration.

Work As A Parental Team

Parents whose children show signs of violent behavior may be quick to blame each other. It is vital that you realize that blaming your spouse only leads to a breakdown of your relationship with each other and your entire family’s structure. For the sake of your child and his siblings, parents must work together to focus on his recovery. Showing a unified front can give the troubled adolescent the reassurance he needs to commit to his medical treatment.

When children show signs of violent behavior, parents should not hesitate to act quickly and get their child the help he needs. By taking these important and urgent steps, parents can lead their son or daughter to a healthy and happy recovery.

Debbie Nguyen is a writer who likes to blog about children’s difficulties and how parents can best help resolve them. She has first-hand experience with her two teens.

Photo Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/trixer/3531445744/

 

No matter what life experiences may happen, kids need to be taught to bounce back from adversity.

No matter what life experiences may happen, kids need to be taught to bounce back from adversity.http://www.bouncebackfromanything.com

 

 

 

You will be glad you did and so will your child.

 

5 Ways To Nurture With Nature—(EXPERT)

Nature Nurtures The Spirit & Builds The Body

Children who have the opportunity to play in nature have a heightened awareness of the world. Being in nature helps them to recognize the cycles of life and the interdependence of plants, animals and humans.

They also have more advanced coordination, balance and agility. When they are involved in physical play, they develop their lungs and muscles which means they are sick less often. Being in nature creates a resilient spirit and a bounce-back attitude.