What should you do when your kids fight and argue? Should you step in or allow them to work it out? The definition of sibling rivalry isCompetition between siblings especially for the attention, affection, and approval of their parents. This article is filled with good ideas that can assist your family to stop arguing and gain more cooperation.
Tag Archives: child behavior issues
Picky Eaters– Common Sense Parenting with “Auntie Artichoke” (EXPERT)
Picky eaters get that way for a variety of reasons. Some are very sensitive to taste, texture and smell. The more your child is involved in planning and preparing the meals, the more he or she will enjoy them. Statistics say families who enjoy regular meals together have better job and school performance, less stress and more happiness. Never make a battle around food. Encourage good conversation and connections at the dinner table.
Parent Advice: 5 Ways to End Your Teens’ Behavior Problems
The best time to teach respect, responsibility and resiliency in when children are small. If you have out of control teens, it is not too late to set up boundaries of behavior. Fair, kind and consistent discipline is the best way to work with teens and pre-teens. You will want to read more at http://www.amzn.to/kindlebyjudy
5 Rules for Respect And Kindness (EXPERT)
Teaching respect is an important part of parenting. You cannot fake respect for others. Kids have a built in BS radar. They are very aware of adult’s moods, attitudes and belief systems. If we want them to practice kindness and respect for others, you must show respect and kindness to them.
Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem = Success in Life
Success in life, friendship, business, family dynamics and spiritual growth has self-confidence and self-esteem at the foundation. People who have a confidence in their personal worth seem to be magnets for success and happiness everywhere they go.
3 Self-Esteem and Confidence Messages
Self-confidence and self-esteem are most easily taught by caring adults and parents with encouraging words and positive actions. This article has 3 self-esteem messages that assist a child to like the person they are becoming.
Indigo Children – Born To Lead Hard To Manage
As I travel the country teaching workshops for parents, teachers and day care providers I often ask them if they recognize
Auntie Artichoke enjoys working with the parents of Indigo Children
the Indigo Children. These children are not content to color in the lines or glue macaroni on paper. They are very bright but also very active and curious.
Born To Be Leaders
Some of the children who are being born now are just arriving knowing who and what they are. They really just need parents to guide them a little and keep them safe till they are grown up enough to accomplish what they have been sent to do. Many parents and teachers are scared of such independent spirits and want to medicate them because they are easier to handle. They are usually intuitive and sensitive to the environment. These beautiful kind spirits are very hard to keep in the old rules of schools and families. They are self directed and don’t always get the “why” adults want them to do things.
A Few Characteristics Noted By Jan Tober and Lee Carol, Authors of What Is an Indigo Child
- They have difficulty with absolute authority (authority without explanation or choice).
- They simply will not do certain things; for example, waiting in line is difficult for them.
- They get frustrated with systems that are ritually oriented and don’t require creative thought.
- They often see better ways of doing things, both at home and in school, which makes them seem like “system busters” (nonconforming to any system).
- They seem antisocial unless they are with their own kind. If there are no others of like consciousness around them, they often turn inward; feeling like no other human understands them. School is often extremely difficult for them socially.
Trust Your Intuition
There are many other books out there that will give you insight into the personality of an Indigo Child. Your most important source of inspiration on dealing with your child is your heart and intuition. No one knows and loves your child as you do. Discuss and plan with the child systems to make life easier for both of you. I can usually tell because their eyes will look at you as if they can see into your soul. They are the ones who will help all of humanity to move in a direction. A leader who will lead in their own way. Our job is to keep these Indigo Children safe and recognize what they have to teach us. They are born to lead, so let’s guide and accompany them on their journey, but let them lead the way. I am sure you probably have a child or two who come to mind when I talk about an Indigo Child.
If your child has lost self esteem by trying to fit into a “regular world” please go to http://www.UseEncouragingWords.com for a free ebook which will help them recognize their inner strength. You will be so glad you did.
Thanks for joining our community of caring parents, family members, coaches, teachers and mentors who want to help raise a generation of responsible adults who respect others.
Judy H. Wright http://www.ArtichokePress.com You have permission to reprint this article in your blog, ezine or offline magazine as long as you keep the content and contact information intact. Thank You.
How To Deal With A Difficult Child – Rude, Defiant and Lazy
Why won’t my kid behave? What makes him so angry? How can I control his angry behavior? Why is his behavior rude and obnoxious? How can we teach respect and responsibility? Are all kids his age lazy? What am I doing wrong?
Difficult Child or Child Having Difficult Day?
These are common questions that come up in parenting classes I teach and attend. One of the biggest concerns of parents, teachers and care givers is how to get their kids to behave. I know this for a fact, because my husband and I have six adult children, foster children and now grandchildren. We see them with eyes of love and tolerance but are also aware that some children are more “high maintenance” than others.
Labels Become Self Fulfilling Prophecies
There are many labels that adults put on children who do not immediately obey instructions. some are called ADD, ADDHD, Extreme kids, Indigo Child, Star Children and I have even heard them revered to as spoiled brats. The problem with labels, titles and roles is that children soon begin to be that which they are called. If they are seen as difficult, they will continue to be difficult.
Encouragement Toward Positive Goals
Although we may want and desire our children to automatically know what to do and say that will please us and society, life doesn’t work that way. We must believe in our children if they are to believe in themselves. In order to feel adequate and accepted, children need frequent encouragement. A cooperative relationship depends on how children feel about themselves and their place in the world.
Although adults and other important people do not cause children to misbehave, we can reinforce and encourage their misbehavior without being aware of what our expectations are for the child. The child may be unaware that his action is seeking one of the four goals of misbehavior;
- Attention
- Power
- Revenge
- Display of inadequacy
No effective parenting will work long term unless the whole family works together to build a respectful and positive relationship. Most families with a difficult child who appears rude, defiant and lazy have tried everything before recognizing that it is a family concern and can only be resolved by working together.
Be Kind But Firm
Have a family council and decide what kind of a family you want to be and how to achieve those goals. Set reasonable consequences and make sure the whole family understands what the rules and guidelines are going to be. Don’t worry about every little infraction, but instead concentrate on a few behavior issues that are disrupting the quality of family life. Ask the children to draw the chore calender or behavior chart. Help them to become empowered with their own place in the family.
Consistent Consequences and Expectations
In my experience, it is not that parents don’t love their children, rather it is the opposite. They want the best for the whole family but often discourage positive behavior by focusing on the negative. Follow through and be consistent and you will be rewarded by not living with a difficult child, but rather a good kid having an occasional bad day.
I have confidence in you.
Your friend,
Judy Helm Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship author and keynote speaker
PS: Another great resource is http://www.kidschoresandmore.com which will help the whole family work together so there will be more free time for fun activities.
Difficult Teenagers
If you have difficult teenagers in your home, you have our sympathy.
Angry teenagers can be moody and difficult to live with. Habits can change.
It is not fun to live in a combat zone and worry that everyday will bring more battles and fights.
Once you recognize the reason for the continued anger and disrespect may be poor communication patterns, you have to make the decision to continue fighting or to just hope it will stop. it will not stop on it’s own.
If you decide that your family deserves a more harmonious atmosphere, you will be choosing to change a habit. Fighting has probably become the default method of communication. Any pattern or habit that has been learned, can also be unlearned, but it takes commitment and practice.
Change Is Possible And Worth The Effort
The three most powerful words in English language is: I Can Change.
Communication will improve when you want it to, and especially if you have learned new ways of getting them to connect to the family. As long as there is no alcohol or drugs involved, most teenagers will stop fighting when they see that they are not going to keep pushing your buttons and make you mad.
Listen More Than Talk
Truly being present for another person is the most powerful life skill there is. By listening, I mean truly understanding where they coming from and what they really need. By restating what they have said and making sure it is what they meant to convey, you can avoid misunderstandings.
There are many programs that can assist you in parenting endeavors but I recommend one ahttp://www.DisciplineYesPunishNo.com
Good Luck, this is not going to be easy, but it is going to be worth it. Your family deserves to build strong connections and happy memories.
Your friend,
Judy H. Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship author and keynote speaker
Indigo Children – Do You Have One?
You will find additional information at http://www.disciplineyespunishno.com for a series of free articles on transforming your family communications.
Thanks for joining our community of caring parents, family members,coaches, teachers and mentors who want to help raise a generation of responsible adults who respect others.
Artichoke Press is the home site of Judy H. Wright, family relationship coach and author of over 20 books and many articles on family relationships. If your organization would like to schedule Auntie Artichoke, the storytelling trainer, for a workshop please call 406.549.9813.
Judy H. Wright http://www.ArtichokePress.com You have permission to reprint this article in your blog, ezine or offline magazine as long as you keep the content and contact information intact. Thank You.
I had never heard of Indigo children five years ago. But I kept
Indigo Children need different parenting skills to gain cooperation.
seeing these kids in my parenting classes that seem to shine. They were always active and full of themselves. Very hard to handle for parents and irritating to other adults. But then I started to see a pattern with some of the children and realized that not only did I know Indigo Children, but I had one.
According to Lee Carroll and Jan Tober authors of a book published by Hay House Publishing, “An Indigo Child is one who displays a new and unusual set of psychological attributes and shows a pattern of behavior generally undocumented before.”
We are in the midst of human evolution and it is happening with our children and grandkids.
What does that mean to parents, day care providers and teachers who are trying to deal with these kids?
It means that discipline, reasoning and rigid rules that may have worked on other children will probably not work with Indigos. We need to shift our parenting styles and expectations in order to allow them to function well in a society that not only does not understand their actions, but wants to drug them.
The book goes on to list the common traits of Indigo children. I have adapted these with my own observations.
- They come into the world with a feeling of royalty.
- They have a sense of being here for a reason.
- Full of self worth and not much humility.
- Have difficulty with absolute authority or rigid rules.
- Have agreat deal of difficulty waiting in line or taking turns.
- Easily frustrated with systems that do not allow for creative thought and input.
- Often have a much better idea on how things should be done.
- May appear anti-social. School may be difficult for them socially. Would rather turn inward.
- Will not be manipulated by guilt or threats.
- If you ask them what they really want, they will tell you.
If your child has a number of these characteristics, you will want to research further on this subject. Our family found that old parenting styles were not going to work with an Indigo child.
Click here and You will find additional information at http://www.disciplineyespunishno.com for a series of free articles on transforming your family communications and cooperation.
Thanks for joining our community of caring parents, family members,coaches, teachers and mentors who want to help raise a generation of responsible adults who respect others.
Artichoke Press is the home site of Judy H. Wright, family relationship coach and author of over 20 books and many articles on family relationships. If your organization would like to schedule Auntie Artichoke, the storytelling trainer, for a workshop please call 406.549.9813.
Judy H. Wright http://www.ArtichokePress.com You have permission to reprint this article in your blog, ezine or offline magazine as long as you keep the content and contact information intact. Thank You.