Ask Auntie Artichoke

Expert on Parenting and Family Relationships

Ask Auntie Artichoke - Expert on Parenting and Family Relationships

What To Do If Your Child Has Violent Tendencies

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What To Do If Your Child Has Violent Tendencies

Most parents have the highest hopes and anticipation for our children. When your visions of success and happiness are thwarted because of your child’s violent tendencies, parents may be tempted to deny that your child needs help or that your child’s tendencies will resolve themselves over time. However, ignoring or prolonging your offspring’s violent outbursts is the worst course of action you can take if you hope to restore any desires that your child will be happy and successful in the future.

Rather than give into the worry, fear, embarrassment, and stress that come with having a violent child, parents can instead take these prompt and necessary steps to lead your child to a healthy and meaningful future.

What Makes A Kid Violent?

It’s been proven that excessive exposure to violence through popular media like movies, TV shows and video games contribute to a child’s violent behavior. It desensitizes children to the violence and can make them adopt aggressive behavior. By the time a typical American child reaches the age of 18, he has already been exposed to almost 200,000 acts of violence seen on TV. Popular video games like Grand Theft Auto also rewards violent and destructive behavior.

If a child has suffered some trauma to his brain, this injury can also add to his violent behavior. Use of drugs and alcohol, violence or economic strain in the family can be factors too. Children at risk are those who have problems with being impulsive, irritable, and easily frustrated.

Accept The Problem For What It Is

Some parents may be ready to gloss over your child’s emotional and mental outbursts as a normal developmental stage or a bout of immaturity that will surely go away over time. Minimizing your child’s violent tendencies, however, only serves to deflect the responsibility of getting your child much needed help and addressing the issue for what it really is. Many parents avoid recognizing your child’s outbursts because you may feel embarrassed or that you are to blame for your child’s behavior. Instead of focusing on how you feel, however, you should think ahead about what is best for your child and act promptly to get your son or daughter the professional help they need.

As parents, you must also think of the safety of other children, like siblings or schoolmates, who might be at the receiving end of mean acts. Is your violent child being a typical “brat” or is he taking bullying to a dangerous level? Does he need constant monitoring because he is not to be trusted with playing nice or being left alone with other kids?

Seek Help Through The Professional Community

You may try to keep your child out of the medical establishment by taking your offspring to counseling sessions with religious leaders or natural healers. While it may be perfectly acceptable to adhere to religious or lifestyle beliefs during your child’s recovery, parents are still encouraged to seek out qualified medical help for your child’s violent tendencies. A team of doctors, licensed psychiatrists, and mentors are the ideal choices for heading up a child’s emotional and mental treatment.

In the case of a troubled child, the causes might come from social issues which need to be addressed. A specialist in juvenile justice who also happens to work as a life coach in Seattle for at-risk kids, suggests that the child’s failure to thrive could be because of an addiction, and that he could use help with “releasing stress, reframing and keeping boundary maintenance, and improved communication.” A child may have to be hospitalized, put on medications, or go through other intense medical therapies that can help him recover from the emotional or mental distress that causes his violent behavior. The coach also works with the whole family, to help repair the dynamics between the child and his parents and siblings. Each child is different so the course of action for your particular family would be worked out by the coach with your family’s participation.

Commit To Long-Term Monitoring And Care

Once your child has been treated and shows signs of improvement, don’t be quick to dismiss his behavior and believe that the problem is resolved permanently. Few children recover quickly from violent emotional and mental behaviors. Many kids face years of treatment for their behavior, making it necessary for their parents to commit to a long-term care plan that ultimately should lead to the child’s successful recovery. Falsely believing that the treatment will be short-lived and resolved in a few short weeks or months can set you up for disappointment and frustration.

Work As A Parental Team

Parents whose children show signs of violent behavior may be quick to blame each other. It is vital that you realize that blaming your spouse only leads to a breakdown of your relationship with each other and your entire family’s structure. For the sake of your child and his siblings, parents must work together to focus on his recovery. Showing a unified front can give the troubled adolescent the reassurance he needs to commit to his medical treatment.

When children show signs of violent behavior, parents should not hesitate to act quickly and get their child the help he needs. By taking these important and urgent steps, parents can lead their son or daughter to a healthy and happy recovery.

Debbie Nguyen is a writer who likes to blog about children’s difficulties and how parents can best help resolve them. She has first-hand experience with her two teens.

Photo Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/trixer/3531445744/

 

No matter what life experiences may happen, kids need to be taught to bounce back from adversity.

No matter what life experiences may happen, kids need to be taught to bounce back from adversity.http://www.bouncebackfromanything.com

 

 

 

You will be glad you did and so will your child.

 

Phrases to Build Confidence

When you build confidence, both in yourself and others, use strong words that evoke a sense of movement.

For instance; “I can do it” is certainly stronger than “I can’t do it.” Contrast that to “I choose to do it” which sounds more powerful and sure. The strongest is “I am going to do it! I will start right now and practice it every day until it becomes automatic action.”

Commit to Confidence

Making a decision that you can do something is great but making a commitment and an action plan is even better.  The Universe rewards action.  When you move forward, you will find assistance, guidance and doors opening for you.  Life actually becomes easier once you move in a forward direction.

In my many books and articles available at http://www.ArtichokePress.com  you will find the words to say to bring about positive change.  I do this because sadly, many people have told me that they need the specific words and phrases because they have never heard them.

Phrases To Increase Self-Esteem and Confidence

Here is a list of 15 encouraging words and phrases that will assist you or your child to keep trying and increase self-esteem and confidence.

  1. “I like the way you handled that.”
  2. “Wow, you really thought out the solution to that problem.”
  3. “I have faith in your ability.”
  4. “I appreciate what you did.”
  5. “You are really showing improvement.”
  6. “I know you will figure out a good way to do it next time.”
  7. “You don’t have to be perfect. Effort and improvement are important.”
  8. “I trust you to be responsible.”
  9. “It must make you proud of yourself when you accomplish something like that.”
  10. “You are a valuable part of the team.”
  11. “It is okay to make a mistake, we all do. What do you think you learned from it?”
  12. “How can we turn this into a positive?”
  13. “I’m proud of you for trying.”
  14. “I’ll bet by next year you will be able to handle it, you just need to grow a little.”
  15. “I know you are disappointed that you didn’t win, but you’ll do better next time.”

Say Your Encouraging Words With Emotion

The stronger the positive statements spoken with emotion and deep meaning, the more the sub-conscious mind believes you and works to make it come true. That is why affirmations work. You are repeating positive statements with feeling and emotion.

Claim a copy of the audio book Affirmations For Abundance  at http://www.ArtichokePress.com and listen to it daily for 21 days as you commute to work or walk around the park.  You will see a big difference in your belief system and inner confidence.

You deserve the best and I am confident in your ability to impact the world by influencing others to make wise choices through the use of encouragement and attracting the positive.

 

Join our community of kind, thoughtful people who want respect for all at http://www.ArtichokePress.com

Encourage Yourself to Courage – Overcome Fear, Doubts and Frustrations

Are You Afraid and Frustrated?

If you are having difficulty turning problems into opportunities, you may be discouraged. You may have a need to build your self esteem in order to overcome fear, doubts and frustrations that are impacting the life you deserve to live.  Having courage does not mean that you are free of fear, despair, doubt, frustration or discouragement.

Get unstuck in life by making a decision to move forward

Get unstuck in life by making a decision to move forward

It does mean that we are able to meet life’s challenges and move forward.

Courage is Movement Forward

Any time we take action and move toward a goal, we set a process in place that will overcome negative thoughts and experiences. The Universe rewards those who know what they want and take immediate action.  Sometimes, the most courageous thing we can do is to say; “This is a negative place in my life and I want to change my direction and not remain stuck here.”  Making a decision  to overcome fear or to just walk through the doubt  is frequently the catapult to success in many areas of life

Encourage Yourself To Take First Step

By making a decision to overcome what may seem overwhelming, you will be moving forward as opposed to stagnation and paralysis.  Many people are stuck in miserable situations because they are waiting for someone or something outside of themselves to decide what to do or to save them from their misery.  The courage to turn a problem into a challenge is best met internally. Others may be vested in keeping you stuck. If you change and move forward, it may disrupt their safety net.  It is not their problem, it is yours.

You may be looking at problems in a restricted and narrow framework.  You may be basing your fear and doubt on old beliefs that no longer serve you. You may be replaying old family tapes in your head that keep you from stepping out into the future with courage and daring.

Peel Away Old Belief Systems

By getting to the root cause of our fears and doubts we can examine them in the light and reframe them for the future.  This will enable us to function in a more satisfying and rewarding manner.  We become what we are through our decisions, all of which require courage.

Lack of courage is often express in the decision not to make a decision.

Questions To Assist You In Overcoming Fear, Doubt and Frustration

  • How do you encourage yourself when you are afraid?
  • Do you recognize that you and you alone own the problem?
  • Do you have old family beliefs that are holding you back?
  • Are you sometimes suffer from paralysis of perfection?
  • What decision will you make today that will move you forward from a stuck place?

You are invited to claim a free e-course on overcoming shyness and building self esteem and courage at

http://www.confidenceclues.com

Best wishes for a bright and courageous future. I believe in you and you can encourage courage in yourself and overcome fear, doubt and frustration.

Judy H. Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship author and speaker