All likeable people behave in certain ways. They literally have a “magnetic” personality drawing others to them. The advantages of being likeable are numerous, including higher grades and income, self-esteem, better health, longer life and happiness and well-being.
New research shows that all likeable children behave in certain ways. These skills are not in-born but can be taught by parents, teachers and other caring adults. There is a language of likeability that some children cannot pick up by osmosis, but must learn. It has been called“shorthand” to making friends.
Hello from beautiful Montana:
When we talk about the ability to make friends, there is one quality
that attracts others to you as a bee to a flower. That quality is the the decision you make to practice kindness to everyone you see.
Just as with any other behavior or skill the deciding factor is the consistency of the practice. Many people want to play the piano, but not many dedicate themselves to practicing the scales daily. However, after a while the practice of anything, piano or building friendships, becomes automatic action and does not require conscious decision. It just is.
Make Others Comfortable
The word kindness has a soft and gently feel to it, and yet it is one of the most powerful forces for good in the world today. Going out of your way to make other people comfortable and feel good about themselves has a ripple effect on the workplace, family, neighborhood, community and world.
When we practice kindness, we will easily make friends and build a support system. The mere act of truly listening to others as they speak, of being aware of those who need assistance or encouragement, and of looking beyond our own needs, is empowering.
Friends Are a Resource And Strength
You will find that as your network of true friends and acquaintances grow, so will your confidence and self esteem. Knowing that you have built a network of people who care about you just as you care about them will give you courage to try new things and be open to new opportunities.
As you practice kindness each day do it with the goal of simply being a kind person. The side effect of making friends will be an added bonus. People can tell if they are being manipulated or used, just as you can. Make friends comfortable being around you, so they know they can trust your motivation is to help them, not use them.
If your child is having problems on the playground or has a hard time making friends click here:
You will be glad you did.
Judy Helm Wright, aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship author and motivational speaker
Hello from beautiful Montana:
I promise I will get back to organizational tips tomorrow, but today I need to discuss a subject that have many parents and kids nervous. Going back to school and finding friends.
Making friends is a skill, just like playing the piano or riding a bike.
Skills can be learned and behaviors can be changed. New habits can be formed. Different responses can become automatic action if they are practiced on a consistent basis.
While it may require more effort for some people to be comfortable in groups or to read body language, it can be done. Especially, if the child is willing to practice this new skill and knows she has your support and encouragement.
Remind her of her positive qualities
Encourage your child’s efforts to get along with peer and to find a friend, even when it appears that such attempt are not meeting with success. Another reminder is that making just the right friend for her may take some time and not to give up.
Help her to see what she has to offer as a friend.
For example, you might say: “I really appreciate it when my friends call me and invite me places. It makes me feel welcome and accepted. Even on the times when I am not able to go, it still feel good to know they thought of me. That is why I treat them with kindness and respect, because that is how I want to be treated.”
If you would like more information on helping your child or you make friends, please go to hhtp://www.The LeftOutChild.com I also lead a free teleclass on this and many other family relationship subjects each Thursday. You may register for any or all of the calls at http://www.ArtichokePress.com
We would like to have you in the community of support and friendship.
Judy H. Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship coach and author