Ask Auntie Artichoke

Expert on Parenting and Family Relationships

Ask Auntie Artichoke - Expert on Parenting and Family Relationships

Build Confidence In Parenting Skills

Hello from beautiful Montana:

Would you like to build confidence in your parenting skills? Do you sometimes wonder if your family relationships are on a roller coaster. One day the kids seem responsible, kind and thoughtful individuals and the next they disrespectful, defiant and rude. They push against the rules and boundaries and try your patience.

Don’t Be Discouraged, Be Consistent


We tend to think that teaching and discipline is like a diagonal line on a graph moving onward and upward.  However, raising responsible children is more like the ocean tide.  We move forward, we retreat, move forward once more, fall back.  But we are always there.

The falling back and regrouping our strength and power can be discouraging to parents. The way to think about it is to envision the incoming tide.  Then you can more easily see that after a falling back comes the moving forward. Each time we do that we are a little ahead of where we were previously.

There Are No Perfect Families

As humans, we tend to see ourselves at our worst and others at their best. Comparing our children, ourself or our situation with others will only lead to discouragement. Each family has unique problems and different battles to win. Look at your efforts and family with a loving attitude and a forgiving heart.

Understand that your children are not the symbol of your success in life. You can suggest, influence and give tools for improvement but you can never force another human being to change.  Accepting others where they are is a basic principle for personal growth and self improvement in family relationships.

The only real tool in our parenting backpack to encourage positive action in our family which we have direct access is our own behavior. Children will be more willing to change and adapt more responsible attitudes when they see the important adults in their life assuming personal responsibility.

Consistent Guidelines and Unconditional Love

Once parents understand and grasp the notion that by changing our own behavior we can influence the unacceptable behavior, life gets much easier.

Like the tide ever moving towards the shore it has consistent actions. We can count on it ebbing and flowing. We want to be consistent in our expectations so the family knows what the boundaries are.  Children need to know  you will always love them unconditionally but may not approve of their actions.

As we encourage and support their positive actions and help them to understand the consequences for crossing the boundaries, they are better equipped to self govern.

Our love for our family and for ourself should not be dependent on behavior, but rather unconditional and never ending.

I have confidence in you that you will make wise choices for your family. You will learn new and more effective  parenting skills and incorporate them in your life.

If you need additional assistance in order to build confidence in your parenting skills, you are invited to go to:

http://www.DisciplineYesPunishNo.com

You will be glad you did.

In confidence,

Judy Helm Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship author and speaker

PS: You will also want to check out
http://www.EncourageSelfConfidence.com

Low Self Esteem? Build Confidence

Hello from beautiful Montana:

Are you or someone you love overcome with low self esteem? A belief system which implies that you are less than others and not deserving of happiness is not serving you well.  Each one of us is born with a gift or destiny. It is important that you find ways and means to build confidence and raise your self-esteem.

Build Confidence With Positive Affirmations

Our thoughts and belief systems are continually running through our minds.  Are your thoughts mostly positive or negative?  Thoughts are like plants in a garden, when you plant a bean (or positive thought) you get multiples of beans. You will want to plant a series of hope, success, happiness and enthusiasm seeds of positive affirmations.

Affirmations are statements of belief.  Your subconscious does not grade or evaluate them.  It just tries to make the actions of the individual (you) make them come true. The more you repeat a statement, the more the mind will hear the message and  encourage your physical body to follow the encouragement.

Affirmations For High Self-Esteem

  • I am a worthy person who treats others and myself with respect.
  • I am a successful problem solver and find creative solutions.
  • I draw others to me who are kind, thoughtful and helpful.
  • I  take care of my body and mind so I can appreciate all my talents.
  • I am brave, courageous, and unafraid to change ways and thoughts that are not working for my highest good.

Negative Thoughts and Low Self-Esteem Unwelcome

I have confidence in your ability to encourage a positive attitude and high self-esteem. You can do it.  You are worthy of the respect of your peers, family and friends. Just keep planting positive affirmations in your mind and acting in a confident manner.

If you need assistance, please go to:
http://www.EncourageSelfConfidence.com

You will be glad you did.

In gratitude,

Judy Helm Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship author and motivational speaker

Shy in Social Situations

Hello from Montana:

Shyness is an adjective or label imposed by others when they observe someone who does not communicate well and is at unease in social situations. We may label ourselves as “quiet, reticent, unassuming or even self-contained.”

People who are shy in social situations usually do not see it as a problem until someone points it out or draws attention to the behavior.  The perspective of how to look at shyness is interesting, because those who are shy, see only a quiet demeanor.  Observers however, tend to judge the shy person as standoffish, rude, snobby, superior attitude and wants to be left alone.

Starting The  Change From Shy to Confident

It is important for those who consider themselves as quiet or not good at communication to realize that it is okay to be quiet occasionally.  Everyone has periods of  being quiet and also of being confident and outgoing.

If you want to learn to be more confident, especially in social situations, be willing to take a few chances.  One never grows in confident by staying in a comfortable place.  It is only when you step out of your old habits and find a new comfort level that you move toward success.

Practice The Steps To Overcome Shyness

Being shy is not a disease, it is a behavior.  Behaviors can be changed.  Belief systems and negative thoughts can be changed.

Communication is a process of sharing in a relationship. Just by forcing yourself to smile, you will find others more receptive to you and your ideas. The next time it will be easier and easier.

Please commit to starting on the journey to no longer by shy in social situations. For additional support and assistance, please go to:

http://www.EncourageSelfConfidence.com

You will be so glad you did.  Start your journey today.
In gratitude,
Judy Helm Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship author and motivational speaker