The best time to teach respect, responsibility and resiliency in when children are small. If you have out of control teens, it is not too late to set up boundaries of behavior. Fair, kind and consistent discipline is the best way to work with teens and pre-teens. You will want to read more at http://www.amzn.to/kindlebyjudy
Teaching respect is an important part of parenting. You cannot fake respect for others. Kids have a built in BS radar. They are very aware of adult’s moods, attitudes and belief systems. If we want them to practice kindness and respect for others, you must show respect and kindness to them.
Hello from Montana:
What constitutes respect for others? Is being respectful the key to healthy relationships? Do you have to like someone to be considerate, kind and courteous? How do you work in a relationship where there is an uneven balance of power? Even if you disagree with someone can you respect their rights?
Several years ago there was a study done of 100 self made millionaires. They ranged in age from young 19 to well over 70. Their educational experiences extended from grade school to the Ph.D level. They differed in almost all characteristics, except they were all found to be respectful of other people.
Everyone Can Learn and Teach
They had determined early in their careers that everyone had something to teach and to share. They built respectful relationships by learning from others. Even those who do not believe as you do, or look like you or speak like you, still have something to share and should be given the right to share in some way.
We tend to treat people like we see them. If we see them as arrogant, snooty or even shy, we tend to treat them in that manner. I just did a radio show recently about a second chance at making a good first impression. You will want to listen to that one, if you haven’t already.
Live Up to Expectations
Once you find the good or ability in other people you treat him or her better and thus they perform better. We all tend to live up to the expectations of other people. I have seen children who were average students with one teacher and then become top producers with encouragement and acceptance.
If we see people worthy of respect, then we will treat them that way. Even when they do not demonstrate their respect for us, we can still treat them with courtesy.
A quote that I love says “If you take a man as he is, you make him worse than he was, but if you see him as being the best person possible, then he, in fact, become the best person possible.”
Courage To Keep Trying
Encouragement is giving someone the courage to keep progressing on an upward road, to move ahead and to fulfill their destiny. By giving respect and understanding to others in our relationship, we will all move forward. A life journey is seldom without some failure, or detours. When we can acknowledge the progress and respect the effort as well as the individual, we will have a better world.
Please come and join our community of kind, thoughtful people who want understanding and respect for all.You will find us at….
You will also want to go to http://www.encourageselfconfidence.com for a workbook and bonus items that will assist you in building confidence in the future and courage today.
Thanks for sharing your time with me today,
Judy H. Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship author and keynote speaker
Everyone likes to be praised, right? Actually, too much praise can have a boomerang effect if the recipient of the compliment believes it is untrue or unrealistic. It can also cause distrust or discouragement of other members of the team or family.
While praise may be of value, if the child or employee maintains a low opinion of himself or becomes dependent on the outside world to give him an external reward, he is constantly looking for external approval. Our goal as employers, parents, teachers and coaches is to encourage positive progress without unrealistic praise and assist in building inward confidence.
Recently a grandmother asked me on Facebook how to encourage without giving unrealistic and too much praise.
“Have you suggestions between praise and “too much” praise – i.e. “You really worked hard on that project” vs. “You are WONDERFUL” – which is easy to spout but really pretty meaningless. Today’s young workforce expects to be praised for everything vs. deserved praise or encouragement.”
My answer was:
Hi Jo Ann- You have raised such an important point. “You really worked hard on that project” is encouragement and it is praising the process rather than the task. It is transferable to other tasks and attempts. You are saying “Keep going, you are on the right path.”
When kids get praised for every little thing they come to expect it and feel they deserve it. The world of work is not going to give them constant approval. They are in for a big shock when no one is going to applaud their every effort. If the child has come to look for praise and external evaluation which must constantly be earned, he may be unsure when he will get it again. This causes some to fail or to sabotage efforts of others on the team in order to receive the coveted “praiseworthy” award.
This next generation of children coming up must be able to trust their own judgment and intuition. They must be able to follow their own inner compass rather than waiting for outside approval.
Difference Between Praise and Encouragement
Praise is like a reward for something well done, and implies a spirit of competition. The unspoken message is clear; “winner takes all.” When members of a workplace, family or class are singled out for unrealistic praise, the others become discouraged and also lose faith with the authority figure.
In contrast, encouragement may be given for any effort or for slight improvement. Encouragement is not concerned with superior-inferior relationships but focuses on making the child or employee understand they are a valued part of the team.
Self esteem comes from an inward knowing that you are a capable problem solver. The effects of encouragement and cooperation that builds respect for self and others have long range and lasting results.
I encourage you to claim your free ebook at:
Judy H. Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship author and speaker