Hello from beautiful Montana:

Conflict is inevitable. As long as we have at least two human beings interacting, we will have at least two opinions on how things should be done. You cannot avoid conflict, but you can control it with confidence and a desire to find peaceful solutions.

Have you ever been drawn into a match of wills at work or home only to find that once you jumped in, you could not find a graceful way out? Maybe you were hoping that the other person would just give up or someone would come along to rescue you.

I have listed some ideas for you to use to rescue yourself. Read and reread and then practice these behaviors and you will see less conflict and more cooperation.

Four Confidence Clues

1. Speak in short sentences. Say what you need to say, but don’t belittle the situation or the other person with long explanations. For instance, instead of saying; “Look you jerk, I worked my tail off preparing that report and all you could do is find one little error and want me to do it over again and I don’t have the time or energy to rework something that is good enough for most people.”  How about saying; “I see the error you are concerned about.”
2. Slow down your emotional response. Your first response is usually knee jerk reaction of revealing all the resentment, anger and justification of your actions.  Your rate of speech will be very rapid and fast.  When we speak rapidly, we often make mistakes or say things that are better left unsaid.  Our mind also races ahead of our ability to think and form our answers. You will want to slow down so that you appear to be rational and mature.
3. Watch your body language. Verbal communication is the language of information. Body or non verbal communication is the language of relationships.  If your arms are crossed and foot is tapping, it sends a defensive signal right away to the other person. If possible, take a few deep breaths, put your shoulders back and put one hand in your pocket and the other hanging loosely at your side.
4. Deepen your voice. Stress and anger can tighten your vocal cords, making your voice come out high and screech like.  This higher pitch sends a message that you are vulnerable and emotionally overwrought.  When you breathe as listed above, you will naturally relax and you will feel and hear a deeper, more confident voice coming out of your mouth.                                                                                                                                                                                                     Your goal is not to avoid conflict, because that is impossible, but to control it with confidence and courage.

You can do it. I have confidence in you.  If you would like to build more confidence in yourself  http://www.encourageselfconfidence.com

You will be glad you made the decision to build your self confidence so you can control conflict in your life.  How have you handled conflict in the past? Has that method worked for you? Leave a comment and let’s start a dialog about controlling conflict with confidence.

Your Friend,

Judy Helm Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship author and keynote speaker

Hello from beautiful Montana:

Are you or someone you love overcome with low self esteem? A belief system which implies that you are less than others and not deserving of happiness is not serving you well.  Each one of us is born with a gift or destiny. It is important that you find ways and means to build confidence and raise your self-esteem.

Build Confidence With Positive Affirmations

Our thoughts and belief systems are continually running through our minds.  Are your thoughts mostly positive or negative?  Thoughts are like plants in a garden, when you plant a bean (or positive thought) you get multiples of beans. You will want to plant a series of hope, success, happiness and enthusiasm seeds of positive affirmations.

Affirmations are statements of belief.  Your subconscious does not grade or evaluate them.  It just tries to make the actions of the individual (you) make them come true. The more you repeat a statement, the more the mind will hear the message and  encourage your physical body to follow the encouragement.

Affirmations For High Self-Esteem

• I am a worthy person who treats others and myself with respect.
• I am a successful problem solver and find creative solutions.
• I draw others to me who are kind, thoughtful and helpful.
• I  take care of my body and mind so I can appreciate all my talents.
• I am brave, courageous, and unafraid to change ways and thoughts that are not working for my highest good.

Negative Thoughts and Low Self-Esteem Unwelcome

I have confidence in your ability to encourage a positive attitude and high self-esteem. You can do it.  You are worthy of the respect of your peers, family and friends. Just keep planting positive affirmations in your mind and acting in a confident manner.

If you need assistance, please go to:
http://www.EncourageSelfConfidence.com

You will be glad you did.

In gratitude,

Judy Helm Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship author and motivational speaker

Hello from beautiful Montana:

When we talk about the ability to make friends, there is one quality

As adults model kindness, friendships follow for our children

that attracts others to you as a bee to a flower.  That quality is the the decision you make to practice kindness to everyone you see.

Just as with any other behavior or skill the deciding factor is the consistency of the practice. Many people want to play the piano, but not many dedicate themselves to practicing the scales daily. However, after a while the practice of anything, piano or building friendships, becomes automatic action and does not require conscious decision. It just is.

Make Others Comfortable

The word kindness has a soft and gently feel to it, and yet it is one of the most powerful forces for good in the world today.  Going out of your way to make other people comfortable and feel good about themselves has a ripple effect on the workplace, family, neighborhood, community and world.

When we practice kindness, we will easily make friends and build a support system.  The mere act of truly listening to others as they speak, of being aware of those who need assistance or encouragement, and of looking beyond our own needs, is empowering.

Friends Are a Resource And Strength

You will find that as your network of  true friends and acquaintances grow, so will your confidence and self esteem.  Knowing that you have built a network of people who care about you just as you care about them will give you courage to try new things and be open to new opportunities.

As you practice kindness each day do it with the goal of simply being a kind person.  The side effect of making friends will be an added bonus. People can tell if they are being manipulated or used, just as you can.  Make friends comfortable being around you, so they know they can trust your motivation is to help them, not use them.

If your child is having problems on the playground or has a hard time making friends click here:
http://www.TheLeftOutChild.com

You will be glad you did.

In gratitude,

Judy Helm Wright, aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship author and motivational speaker

Hello from beautiful Montana;

How do you manage social situations?  Do you know what to say when networking in the work place? Would your co-workers say you are well liked?  There is a power of likability that some have naturally, but most need to work on.

Friendship Foundation

The root and base of every relationship is friendship.This springboard of friendship with self and then others takes us to love and trust.  How we communicate and interact with others is indicative of how we treat those we live with as well as complete strangers.

If we give only surface attention to the needs of others, it will reflect on our friendships but also on our bottom line.

Respect, Kindness and Understanding

If we treat ourselves and others with respect, kindness and understanding, friendship will grow and develop naturally. Our body language is the communication of relationships, so stand tall and look people in the eye. Smile often and really listen to what others have to say.

People Like To Do Business With People They Know, Like and Trust

In the world of business, if all things are equal, people will do business with a friend.  If things are unequal, they will still do business with a friend.  Those who are giving you their money want to know that you know what you are doing and they want to trust you.

Your likability is the critical factor in  helping customers make a buying decision.  If they like you, they are more likely to trust you.  If you have indicated that you like them and want to help them solve their problems they will believe you more readily. If you show confidence in yourself and products, your customers will want to do business with you.

Be Confident to Be Well Liked

Building Confidence is a skill and just like any other skill, it can be learned. It takes a guide or mentor, basic directions, practicing on a consistent basis and  WOW, there you are.

You will send out positive vibrations which will tell others that you are a likable person and they will be drawn to your power of likability.

The power of likability cannot be underestimated. It is the connection between you and others.

I have confidence in your ability to find solutions to situations that are not working in your life right now.  Please let me be your guide and mentor in this journey of life.

http://www.EncourageSelfConfidence.com is a wonderful program that can assist you in your goal of being more likeable and successful in your life.

Your friend,

Judy H. Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship author and speaker

Hello from beautiful Montana:

What constitutes respect?  Do you have to like someone to be considerate, kind and courteous?

How do you work in a relationship where there is an uneven balance of power?

Several years ago there was a study done of 100 self made millionaires.  They ranged in age from young 19 to well over 70.  Their educational experiences extended from grade school to the Ph.D level. They differed in almost all characteristics, except they were all found to be respectful of other people.

They had determined early in their careers that everyone had something to teach and to share. They built respectful relationships by learning from others.

We tend to treat people like we see them. If we see them as arrogant, snooty or even shy, we tend to treat them in that manner.  I just did a radio show recently about a second chance at making a good first impression.  You will want to listen to that one, if you haven’t already.

Once you find the good or ability in other people you treat him or her better and thus they perform better.  We all tend to live up to the expectations of other people.

If we see people worthy of respect, then we will treat them that way.  Even when they do not demonstrate their respect for us, we can still treat them with courtesy.

A quote that I love says “If you take a man as he is, you make him worse than he was, but if you see him as being the best person possible, then he, in fact, become the best person possible.”

Encouragement is giving someone the courage to keep trying, to move forward and to fulfill their destiny.  By giving respect and understanding to others in our relationship, we will all move forward.

Be sure to go to

http://www.artichokepress.com for a complete listing of books, reports, articles and videos by Judy H. Wright aka Auntie Artichoke

You will also want to go to http://www.encourageselfconfidence.com for a workbook and bonus items that will assist you in building confidence in the future and courage today.

Thanks for sharing.

Judy H. Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship author and keynote speaker