Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem = Success in Life

© Judy Helm Wright http://www.judyhwright.com

Success in life, friendship, business, family dynamics and spiritual growth has self-confidence and self-esteem at the foundation.  People who have a confidence in their personal worth seem to be magnets for success and happiness everywhere they go.

As parents and caring adults you will want to share methods and techniques to build self-confidence with the young people in your circle of influence.  One of the most important part of teaching a life-skill is to improve the concept in our own lives.

Here are three more tips to help build self-esteem and self-confidence in your kids.

• Teach Them to Think for Themselves. If you continually tell them what to do and how to do it, they will be looking outward for direction and not learn to trust their intuition.  For every situation, there are at least 5 different and correct solutions.        If we always want things “Our way” they will stop trying to find creative solutions.  Critical thinking and problem-solving ability are going to be more and more important in the new economy.  Those who enter the world of work will need “soft skills” of interpersonal communication and building teamwork and cooperation.

• Give Them Roots. Much of our identity comes from the family stories and the foundation of ethics and standards that make us who we are.  We are a storytelling and story gathering species.  This is a crucial difference that separates us from the rest of the animal kingdom. We can remember, process and pass on information to the next  generation.                                                                                                                                                                                            All of us hunger to belong to a “tribe” who love and accept us.  By sharing the heritage, history and cultural background we give them roots and wings. If you need guidance on gathering, recording or telling stories, you will want to go to http://www.MontanaStoryKeepers.com

• Good Posture Shows Confidence. People with slumped shoulders and lethargic movements display a lack of self-confidence. Verbal communication is the language of information.  Non-verbal or body communication is the language of relationships.

People who slouch indicate they   aren’t enthusiastic about what they’re doing and they don’t             consider themselves important. By practicing good posture, you’ll automatically feel more confident. Stand up straight, keep your head up, and make eye contact. You’ll make a positive impression on others and instantly feel more alert and empowered.

We have a strong identification with our bodies.  However, it is amazing to see the effects of our inner thoughts on our outer appearance.  To develop high levels of self-confidence and self-esteem it is important to integrate the body and spirit in order to have success in life.

Self-Awareness Quiz

1. Do you find yourself drawn towards those who have good posture and non-verbal communication which indicates self-esteem and self-confidence?
2. When you hear family stories that exhibit courage and confidence, does it encourage your self-esteem?
3. Do you like to work with those who are critical thinkers?  Do you find them to excel in leadership roles?

You will want to claim your powerful eBook filled with encouraging words at http://www.judyhwright.com

Be sure to check out a new book about resiliency at http://www.bouncebackperson.com

Don't be anxious or afraid at a party. Just ask questions and listen to people and you will gain confidence.

Are you nervous about social situations?  When there is going to be people you do not know, how does your stomach or neck feel?  Tight and choking? Do you regard yourself as too quiet or too uptight to relax in groups?  Are you concerned that others will expect you to be witty and sophisticated?

If you feel that you are shy or suffer from social anxiety, this is the article for you.

You don’t have to be witty, or smart or a sparkling conversationalist in order to make friends and influence people.  All you really need is to understand the art of listening.

People Don’t Care How Much You Know, Until They Know How Much You Care

We will be talking about how to be more comfortable in social situations.  We will also share about what makes a good listener and the five qualities to develop if you want to be popular and make lasting friendships.

1. Body language of acceptance – Non verbal or body language is the communication of relationships. When people first meet you they are receiving lots of messages about interested you are in them. Smile with your eyes and look directly at the person, or if that makes you uncomfortable, look at their right ear.

2. Ask questions and don’t give advice – When people come to you with a problem, it may appear they want your opinion.  But more often than not, they really just need someone to listen to their story.  By asking small questions or nodding your head, you are giving them permission to get the problem out, so they can see the issues in a new light and make their own decisions.

3. Never break a confidence or gossip about others – Even though it may be tempting to share a “tidbit of news” it will always backfire on you.  One of the signs of deepening friendships is that people will trust you with secrets. If someone gossips with you, you can be assured they will also gossip about you.

4. Complete the loop of conversation – Just as you don’t give unwanted advice, you do want to make sure what the other person needs from you.  Sometimes our words can be taken out of context or misunderstood, so it is best to clarify our message. If someone says; “Do you like baseball?” Don’t just say yes and drop it.  Ask open ended questions and give clarifying comebacks. For instance; “Yes, I do.  Would you like to go to a game sometime?”  Then be sure that you give a phone number or way to contact you if they are interested.

5. Show appreciation and gratitude – Shake hands warmly and say you were glad to meet them. Perhaps you could say something like; “I am grateful I had the opportunity to spend some time with you, your ideas will give me something to think about this week.”

The Secret to Being Interesting is to be Interested

To overcome social anxiety and gain confidence in life is to ask questions the other person will enjoy answering.  As you encourage strangers to talk about themselves, they will soon turn into friends.  Since so few people really go to the effort of listening to other people and making them feel comfortable, if you do, you will be successful.

Hello from beautiful Montana:

I promise I will get back to organizational tips tomorrow, but today I need to discuss a subject that have many parents and kids nervous.  Going back to school and finding friends.

Making friends is a skill, just like playing the piano or riding a bike.

Skills can be learned and behaviors can be changed.  New habits can be formed.  Different responses can become automatic action if they are practiced on a consistent basis.

While it may require more effort for some people to be comfortable in groups or to read body language, it can be done.  Especially, if the child is willing to practice this new skill and knows she has your support and encouragement.

Remind her of her positive qualities

Encourage your child’s  efforts to get along with peer and to find a friend, even when it appears that such attempt are not meeting with success. Another reminder is that making just the right friend for her may take some time and not to give up. 

Help her to see what she has to offer as a friend. 

For example, you might say: “I really appreciate it when my friends call me and invite me places.  It makes me feel welcome and accepted.  Even on the times when I am not able to go, it still feel good to know they thought of me.  That is why I treat them with kindness and respect, because that is how I want to be treated.”

If you would like more information on helping your child or you make friends, please go to hhtp://www.The LeftOutChild.com     I also lead a free teleclass on this and many other family relationship subjects each Thursday.  You may register for any or all of the calls at http://www.ArtichokePress.com

We would like to have you in the community of support and friendship.

Love,
Judy H. Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship coach and author