Ernest Hemingway once said: “The world breaks everyone. and afterward ,many are strong in the broken places.”

When we are going through adversity, it is not always possible to believe that everyone suffers loss and heartache.  It feels and acts very personal when bad luck and rotten life experiences happen to good people.

Our first response is “Why Me?“  We may question whether we did something to deserve this punishment or trouble. We may feel resentment for others who are not suffering and question why trouble did not choose them.  We may even add up all the bad, selfish and dishonest things a certain friend or acquaintance has done and yet still has good health and a big bank account.

It’s Not Fair

Life isn’t fair.  As a mother of six children I tried to hard at Christmas time to make the gifts come out even for everyone.  No matter how many times I counted and then made lists and then recounted, on Christmas morning during the bedlam of presents, paper and toys, I would realize it hadn’t been fair.  Someone had gotten a watch worth twenty dollars and someone had gotten a bracelet worth three dollars.  Some one had gotten the exact doll she wanted and someone else got the one that was in style last year.

We finally decided to recognize and joke that no matter what we did, it was never going to come out even.  But the joy was that  you knew that the chances were good that one day it would be your turn to get exactly what you wanted.  We would often recite the battle cry of large families and pre-schools around the world; “You get what you get, and you don’t throw a fit.”

Luck or Life

Life is filled with luck and also filled with change and chance.  As Ernest Hemingway said earlier, we all get broken in some way and it is the broken places that make us strong.

Bad Luck is described as unforeseen occurrence, happenstance and yet good luck is described as prosperity, wealth, windfall, success, advantage, profit and triumph, happiness and blessings.  It is often from the luck that the opportunities for growth and development come to us.  When we take the chance to growth through loss, grief and adversity, we will become stronger and more resilient.  I know this is true, because I have experienced in my own life and the lives of countless friends and family.

Questions To Think About

1. Do you consider yourself lucky or unlucky?  Why?
2. Have you ever said “That’s not fair.” Why?
3. What do you think about when bad things happen to you?
4. Can you look back in your life and recognize how a certain situation helped you to grow personally and spiritually?

You are a good person and have been drawn to this information for a reason.  I have confidence in you and your ability to have a good life for you and your loved ones.  If you would like assistance in living a balanced life  please go to

Your friend,

Judy Helm Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship author and keynote speaker

PS:  You will want to claim your books, articles and telecasts at

http://www.ArtichokePress.com

Hello from beautiful Montana:

The holidays are a traditional time of joy and laughter, family and friends, opportunities  to get together and have parties with co-workers and neighbors.  But, while you are grieving a loss of a loved one (human or animal) it may be hard to cope with the holidays.

Mixed Emotions and Mixed Messages

If you are grieving a fresh loss or even remembering the loss of a loved one from years ago, you may be experiencing a huge spectrum of emotions and feelings.  You may also feel so overwhelmed with the demands on your time and energy that you resent others who may be trying to make you feel included and wanted.

An invitation to a party may make you feel guilty if you go and enjoy yourself. You may anticipate that others will think less of you if you are not sufficiently sad.  It is a no-win situation.  The best choice is the choice that takes care of you.

Allow Yourself To Just Be  Human

It is important to practice self-care this season. The best present you can give others is a healthy you and that will not happen if you feel overworked, over shopped, over spent and over tired. Explain to others that this year you will be cutting back on everything, so they should not take it personally.

If you feel you must go to an event, come later or leave early as your energy dictates. If you are ask to contribute food or decorations, just buy them or say not this year.  It is okay to take care of you and your emotions.

Tell Others Clearly What You Want and Need

Don’t be shy or embarrassed to let others know what will make the holidays easier for you.  They are not mind readers and most people would prefer a no rather than a maybe.  If you are clear in your mind that you need time and emotional support rather than a George Foreman Grill, then say so.  Speak in a neutral (not angry or passive) voice about what you want and also what you will be able to do in the holiday season.

Invitation to a Free Tele-Seminar on Sunday December 6, 2009 at 3 PM PST.

As my gift to those of you who are grieving or sad, I will be offering a free seminar on Coping With The Holidays on Sunday December 6,2009.  The call in number is 1-641-715-3200 and the pass code is 244919#

I will “see” you there.

In Peace,

Judy H. Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship author and speaker

http://www.ArtichokePress.com