Wow, Time Flies.  I think we just had New Year’s Eve a few weeks ago. Either time moves faster  or we move slower as age and circumstances come along our life’s journey. I was prompted to think about this particular subject by reading a group writing project by Daniel Scocco and Connie Ragan Green

At a recent gathering, we asked the question of dinner guests;

Was last year happy or horrible for you? After everyone had finished moaning and groaning about some aspects of the past year, I taught them a trick I use to help children be more positive.  This is also a great way to teach ourselves and our children to be problem solvers.

But Then….

As a parent educator I hear all the stories of negative thoughts and pessimistic families.  Parents, grandparents, teachers, coaches and day care providers want to know how to turn negative thoughts, and whiny voices to positive actions.

A technique we used was to allow the child (or adult) to vent and then to say  “But then…” and ask them to tell us something positive that came out of the experience. Sometimes they decided it wasn’t worth the effort to be mad. Or perhaps they realized that there are some things in life you can not change, and so you change what you can and do not worry about the other things.

Life Lesson 101

No one has a life that is completely happy or completely horrible. Most of our joy comes in little bursts of pleasure and enjoyment. Most of our disappointment come in little bursts of frustration or being overwhelmed.

We all have the answers and solutions in our mind and spirit. Sometimes we just need a little nudge to remember or think of them.  There are at least five solutions to every situation and it feels good to be able to come up with an idea you had never considered before.

Lists of Negative and Positive

If you are making a list and checking it twice, be sure to ask yourself what you learned from each negative or horrible experience?  Empower yourself by finding ways to turn horrible into happy.

Your friend and supporter,

Judy H. Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship author and motivational speaker

http://www.UseEncouragingWords.com

Hello from beautiful Montana:

You want to be self-confident and you want to build that inner core of strength in your children and grandchildren or you wouldn’t have been drawn here. Something in those words resonated with your heart.

You have taken the first step on a wonderful journey that will help you to recognize and teach that you and yours are good human beings and worthy of respect and love.

Here is a small video you will enjoy; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kaGbg3yKyuo

Even if you tend to see the negative or look at life with pessimistic eyes, it is possible to change your viewpoint. Becoming an encouraging person with an attitude of gratitude is a skill. It is not an overnight acquisition nor is it something that can be purchased. Skills take work and practice. They take a dogged determination to overcome obstacles in order to gain a reward.

It takes a process similar to improving any other skill you have conquered in your life. Think back on when you learned to ride a bike, play an instrument, or speak a foreign language. Who was it that taught you the basics and encouraged your efforts as you kept trying, even after falling off again and again?

Most of us want to play the piano, but not learn the scales and practice each day. Many wish they spoke a foreign language, but don’t want to take the time, money and effort to study.

It takes becoming and practice before it becomes a part of our being. Confidence in self and a positive attitude cannot be wished into being. It is a lifelong skill that requires commitment, time and consistent practice.

In order to learn any skill you must have a deep desire to:

1. Be aware and clear in your mind of the advantages in learning something new and incorporating it in your life.
2. Ask to be mentored or taught by someone you trust.
3. Learn the basics of the task or skill but don’t expect perfection right away.
4. Expect some setbacks and don’t become discouraged.
5. Set up a plan of action with measurable steps in order to reach an ultimate goal.
6. Focus on effort and use self-encouragement.
7. Move forward and do something every day to take advantage of momentum.
8. Enjoy the skill as it becomes automatic action and enhances your life.

Changing your outlook to one of encouragement and positive outcome will be a life skill that will not only affect you but everyone around you.

You are invited to http://www.encourageselfconfidence.com to read more about this process of building your self confidence and self-esteem.  You will be so glad that you took the steps to overcome anxiety and fear and step into the light.

Your Friend and Supporter,

Judy H. Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship author and motivational speaker

Hello friends throughout the world:

 This is a scary time in our little corner of the world right now.  Many friends and family are concerned and worried as jobs are lost, houses are not selling and groceries are getting more expensive than ever.

Many parents try to keep the realities of life from their children, preferring to worry about it privately.  However, as a parent educator, I can tell you that the children are much more worried about you than they would be about the truth.

Have a family council, and explain that even though there will be some changes, your family is safe and will always love each other.  Then commit to doing the next 7 steps every day for a month, and I guarantee, you will feel better and your financial outlook will too.

1. Get up every morning determined to have a good day
   

2. Stand
   up and start walking. Exercise will get your pulse pumping and remind you that you are alive, human and have options in life. Your best ideas will come to you when you are walking and active.
3. Suit
   Up and look professional.  Even if you are staying home, shower, shave and get dressed.
4. Show
   Up and do at least 5 projects. Make a list of projects, set the timer on the kitchen stove for 45 minutes and focus on that one project without interruption. When the timer goes off, walk around, get a snack, go to the bathroom and then set the timer again for 45 minutes. Use one of the focus periods to read email or the paper, but only do that in that specific period.
5. Think
   Up and Stay Positive .   If negative thoughts appear in your mind, think of a stop sign and then say out loud "I can do this. I have done other things that were hard and I can do this."
   
6. Say
   what you really want- Not what you want right now (which is to go back to
   bed and watch television all day) but what you really want (which is to make X amount of money, take
   your family to DisneyLand, and retire at
   62)
7. Leave
   the  how and when details to God.

You can do this, one day at a time.  I challenge you to do this for 30 days and then let me know how it works. If you do, I will send you a free book by Zig Zigler or one of mine on building self confidence.

You are not alone.  We are a community of support who want the best for you and your family.

With love,

Judy H. Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship coach and author

PS:  If you need assistance in regaining self confidence and courage, please check out http://www.EncourageSelfConfidence.com 

PPS:  Also, please join us each Thursday for a Free radio show and teleclass on various aspects of family relationships and communication.  To see the schedule, go to http://www.ArtichokePress.com