Ask Auntie Artichoke

Expert on Parenting and Family Relationships

Ask Auntie Artichoke - Expert on Parenting and Family Relationships

Dogs, Cats & Babies Speak The Language of Love (GUEST EXPERT)

A study published in the “Journal of Personality and Social Psychology” found that pet guardians tend to be more extroverted and less fearful, and they also experience a reduction in loneliness and a boost in self-esteem. The study indicated that pets provide social support, and this is linked to many positive physical and psychological benefits. In other words, your family dog is likely to become your baby’s first best friend, and this can help them when they become old enough to begin forging friendships with other children.

What To Do If Your Child Has Violent Tendencies

What to Do If Your Child Has Violent Tendencies

© Debbie Nguyen & Judy Helm Wright

 Most parents have the highest hopes and anticipation for our children. When your visions of success and happiness are thwarted because of your child’s violent tendencies, parents may be tempted to deny that your child needs help or that your child’s tendencies will resolve themselves over time. However, ignoring or prolonging your offspring’s violent outbursts is the worst course of action you can take if you hope to restore any desires that your child will be happy and successful in the future.

Rather than give into the worry, fear, embarrassment, and stress that come with having a violent child, parents can instead take these prompt and necessary steps to lead your child to a healthy and meaningful future.

Understanding The Difficulty

  • Is it distractibility?
  • Is it high-intensity level?
  • Is it negative persistence?
  • Is it low sensory threshold?
  • Is it negative mood?
  • Is it low self-esteem?

 What Makes a Kid Violent?

It’s been proven that excessive exposure to violence through popular media like movies, TV shows and video games contribute to a child’s violent behavior. It desensitizes children to the violence and can make them adopt aggressive behavior. By the time a typical American child reaches the age of 18, he has already been exposed to almost 200,000 acts of violence seen on TV. Popular video games like Grand Theft Auto also rewards violent and destructive behavior.

If a child has suffered some trauma to his brain, this injury can also add to his violent behavior. Use of drugs and alcohol, violence or economic strain in the family can be factors too. Children at risk are those who have problems with being impulsive, irritable, and easily frustrated.

You will find valuable information to assist your child in making and keeping friends at

Accept the Problem for What It Is

Some parents may be ready to gloss over your child’s emotional and mental outbursts as a normal developmental stage or a bout of immaturity that will surely go away over time. Minimizing your child’s violent tendencies, however, only serves to deflect the responsibility of getting your child much needed help and addressing the issue for what it really is. Many parents avoid recognizing your child’s outbursts because you may feel embarrassed or that you are to blame for your child’s behavior. Instead of focusing on how you feel, however, you should think ahead about what is best for your child and act promptly to get your son or daughter the professional help they need.

As parents, you must also think of the safety of other children, like siblings or schoolmates, who might be at the receiving end of mean acts. Is your violent child being a typical “brat” or is he taking bullying to a dangerous level? Does he need constant monitoring because he is not to be trusted with playing nice or being left alone with other kids?
Seek Help through the Professional Community

You may try to keep your child out of the medical establishment by taking your offspring to counseling sessions with religious leaders or natural healers. While it may be perfectly acceptable to adhere to religious or lifestyle beliefs during your child’s recovery, parents are still encouraged to seek out qualified medical help for your child’s violent tendencies. A team of doctors, licensed psychiatrists, and mentors are the ideal choices for heading up a child’s emotional and mental treatment.

In the case of a troubled child, the causes might come from social issues which need to be addressed. A specialist in juvenile justice who also happens to work as a life coach in Seattle for at-risk kids, suggests that the child’s failure to thrive could be because of an addiction, and that he could use help with releasing stress, reframing and keeping boundary maintenance, and improved communication.”

A child may have to be hospitalized, put on medications, or go through other intense medical therapies that can help him recover from the emotional or mental distress that causes his violent behavior. The coach also works with the whole family, to help repair the dynamics between the child and his parents and siblings.

You will want to download a free eBook on encouraging words and phrases to say to yourself as well as your child.  Claim your copy today at

Parents As Partners

Each child is different so the course of action to be taken to diffuse his harmful behavior, and how it affects the dynamics of your family, would be agreed upon by the parental or professional coach with your family’s participation.

Working together with professionals is important, but even more important is remembering that no one loves your child like you do.  Become empowered to make decisions that will benefit your family and especially the child who is having violent outbursts.  You acting as an advocate for your child is the best gift you can give him or her.

Thank you for joining this community of kind, thoughtful people who have respect for all.  Be sure to claim your free eBook at  

No matter what life experiences may happen, kids need to be taught to bounce back from adversity.

No matter what life experiences may happen, kids need to be taught to bounce back from adversity.




You will be glad you did and so will your child.


Empower Kids To Say NO! Sexual Exploitation (EXPERT)

Our challenge as a community of caregivers, teachers and parents is to prepare children for any eventuality of sexual exploitation without scaring them to death.

It is our job to teach them that is OK to say NO! and to have the power to speak up when they feel uncomfortable.

We have to counterbalance their natural deference to authority by providing them with a strong sense of what other people should and should not be permitted to do to them under any circumstances.  They must know that they will be supported in their efforts to act and speak out against being victimized.

"Sexting"  is a form of bullying and sexual exploitation.  Find tips for helping empower your child at

“Sexting” is a form of bullying and sexual exploitation. Find tips for helping empower your child at

Emotional Signs of Sexual Abuse



  • An unusually quiet and fearful disposition, especially when in the company of one person.  For instance if your daughter leaves the room whenever Grandpa comes or sits through dinner when he is present, with her eyes downcast or seems more anxious when she hears he is coming to visit, be suspicious.


  • The child may exhibit a series of stress symptoms; fear of a particular place or person, fear of the dark, stomachs, or headaches.


  • An outgoing child may become shy or vice versa.  A child who has up till now usually been obedient, but now is rebelling, may be asking for help in setting boundaries.


  • Sleep disturbances, nightmares, bedwetting, fear of sleeping alone, needing a nightlight.


  • Lots of new fears, needing much more reassurance than in the past.


  • A return to a younger, more babyish behavior.
  • Withdrawal—usually into a fantasy world, exhibiting infantile behavior; may even appear retarded.


  • Irritability, excessive crying, visibly emotional.


  • Easily intimidated by older children, fear of male adults; often manifested in cowering, crying, being easily startled.


  • Low self esteem.


  • An offender may become extremely protective of the child and jealous of the child’s social life for fear of losing the child’s allegiance to others.


If, for whatever reason, they are not being protected within their own homes, they need to know that there are other supportive avenues of help available.  In that regard, school personnel and other adults who have contact with children must be alert to the visual signs and halting messages of children in trouble.

Thank you for joining our community of kind, thoughtful people who want respect for all.  Please sign up for a free 15 minute coaching session with Judy Helm Wright, best selling author and life educator at  You will be glad you did.

5 Ways To Nurture With Nature—(EXPERT)

Nature Nurtures The Spirit & Builds The Body

Children who have the opportunity to play in nature have a heightened awareness of the world. Being in nature helps them to recognize the cycles of life and the interdependence of plants, animals and humans.

They also have more advanced coordination, balance and agility. When they are involved in physical play, they develop their lungs and muscles which means they are sick less often. Being in nature creates a resilient spirit and a bounce-back attitude.