Tough boys and Mean girls have always been around. Bullying is a catch-all phrase for an imbalance of power or strength that is either real or perceived. There is a potential for the greater power to intentionally threaten or harm the weaker one. This power struggles usually takes place over a sustained period of time and has the potential to escalate into violence. Bullying can harm indivduals, families, schools and communties. For more information please see http://www.cyberbullyinghelp.com
Does Your Son Have An Eating Disorder? Often people think of anorexia and a vision of a girl pops into our mind. However, there are many young men who also suffer from poor body image and develop eating disorders. This article contains tips to spot an eating disorder with your son and methods to overcome and prevent it. Get the facts on eating issues and disorders here. You will be glad you did. http://www.AskAuntieArtichoke.com
How does a parent, grandparent, mentor or teacher model empowerment and confidence to the kids in their circle of influence?
The primary way anything is taught to children is through modeling. We show them the behavior we desire. From the time they are infants, children are constantly watching and mimicking what we do and say.
They May Not Do What You Say, But What You Do
If there is a discrepancy between what we do and what we say, they learn a whole different lesson than what we set out to teach. If you are giving your child a lecture on lying, then the phone rings and you tell him to say you aren’t home if it is your crazy Aunt Mabel, which behavior do you think he will adapt in his life?
The most important way to convey the lessons of encouragement, empowerment and confidence is to show them how to behave, or model the behavior. The most effective way to teach your child he or she has the power to take positive action and make changes in behavior is to allow them to see you work through challenges. We need to walk the walk, and guide them to persist in the process of a lifelong learning experience.
Teach Problem Solving
Teach and mentor others something that will improve their lives. Sometimes just a word or gesture that shows you have confidence in their ability to problem solve gives them courage to move forward. Help them to achieve goals they can’t reach by themselves. Empower them to succeed.
Every situation has at least five solutions. Help them to help themselves in all areas of life. Encourage them to look at a problem from different angles and perspectives.
Acknowledge & Appreciate Success
Many of the people in your life who are top performers may be limiting their effectiveness because they don’t realize just how good they are. The greatest gift we can do for others is not to share our riches but to reveal theirs.
At a recent parenting class I was talking about discovering the accomplishments of their children. The goal was to have them recognize their own strengths, skills and talents. I started with a ball thrown to a participant with the instruction to yell out something they were good at and then throw the ball to another person.
Surprisingly, many of the participants had great difficulty recognizing and acknowledging their own special talents. It took some gentle prodding and suggestions from others for them to see themselves in a new and powerful light.
Once we got going it was much easier to recognize that not everyone can make delicious chocolate chip cookies. It is a skill to be able to be able to return an item to a store that not everyone has. It takes someone special to be able to bring peace to a conflict at work.
Part of empowering others is to make sure we recognize and applaud our own accomplishments. Many have been taught to not get “a big head” or that “that’s not so special.” We need to help them reveal to themselves and others what great gifts they have been given.
Third Party Credibility
I remember hearing the phrase “Criticize in private, Praise in public” and it really seemed like a good idea to incorporate in my business and personal life. Since the word criticize has some bad connotations for me, I prefer to use the word feedback or mentor.
You will find more about that philosophy in my parenting book How to Discipline Without Damage.
Whenever you get a chance to brag about someone do it. That is called third party credibility and carries a lot of weight. How do I know? Because I leave reviews on YELP, recommendations on Angie’s list and write testimonials for people I do business with.
Don’t allow your children, friends and associates to dismiss or ignore a success. Reveal their victories to them by documenting success on performance reviews or testimonials on Linked In or YELP. Send them a note of congratulations. Post a Hurrah on Facebook. Let them know that you noticed and were impressed with their success.
It takes so little time to empower and encourage others and yet many would prefer to be part of the destruction crew rather than the builders and enhancers of others. I have never quite got why so many people will cheer for their team to win a football game but won’t give their own kid a high-five and an atta-boy.
- Do you acknowledge your own successes out loud and in your mind? Practice saying “Yay Me.”
- Do you share the success of others in public by compliments, reviews and testimonials?
- Do you model confidence in finding solutions and assuming your own power?
Would You Benefit From A Private Coaching Session?
If so, then contact me at www.JudyHWright.com and let’s find a time to discover if we resonate and can travel the empowerment journey together.
You will be glad you did. It costs nothing to ask and the benefits are priceless. See www.judyhwright.com today.
Learning Disabled Teens And Teasing – No Easy Answers
Parents, teachers, extended family and neighbors recognize the special challenges of those who love and teach learning disabled children and adults. They are usually sensitive, kind and giving as small children. Because they are small in stature, people are more forgiving of what they can and cannot do.
Teenagers With Learning Disabilities
However, as these cute little kids grow into teens and adults, they have accelerated difficulties. He/she is still very dependent, while becoming harder to control, guide and teach. The skills may be delayed, but the body and hormones are changing daily. A LD teen may not understand or confuse many aspects of life when in social situations. Sensitive to others anyway, this teen may react negatively to any correction or criticism. What may have started out as casual banter, may be interpreted as hurtful teasing.
Learning disabilities can make the social scene very hard for teens.
Brain disorders are expressed in many strange ways, included a frenzy of hyperactivity. This hyperactivity may irritate the very people the teen is hoping to attract as friends.
Teens With Learning or Physical Disability May Become Target of Teasing
As I have said in many of the previous posts and articles-bullying and teasing is about power. The bully looks for someone who can be manipulated or humiliated in order to make himself/herself feel more important. The majority of learning disable adolescents do not have social skills and the ability to communicate in order to stop the teasing. Self esteem and confidence is not easy to come by in any teenager, but may be especially lacking in those who have severe physical or learning abilities. The amount of teasing, bullying, name calling and taunting that goes on in Special Ed classes and in the hallways of schools internationally, is overwhelming. This is especially true in junior high and high school when independence is encouraged and tattling is discouraged.
What Should Teachers and Parents Do
Kindness and empathy for others hopefully is an on-going conversation in your home and classroom. Help all children, but especially those that have learning and social difficulties, to determine if it is a big problem or a small problem. If it is a small problem help them come up with techniques or ideas to solve it themselves. If it is a big problem, which involves safety, help them to communicate either with the bully or with an adult. Tattling is to get someone in trouble. Telling is to save someone from harm.
Self Awareness Quiz
1. What do you think when you see a learning disabled teen?
2. Do you feel that you have nothing in common?
3. Would you step up and intervene or find help if you saw someone being teased?
4. Do you agree with the difference between tattling and telling?
5. Can you decide what is a big problem and what is a small problem in life?
You are a smart and strong person and I have confidence you will find good solutions to help support not only learning disabled teens, but others who are being teased and bullied. Be sure to claim your free report about bullying at http://www.cyberbullyinghelp.com
Thank you for being part of a community of kind, thoughtful people who want respect for all.
You have permission to reprint this article in your blog or newsletter as long as you keep the complete content and contact information intact.Thank you, Judy Helm Wright aka “Auntie Artichoke”
When you think about car accidents in general, you think of physical injuries and physical damage to your car. In most cases, you do not think about the emotional trauma that an accident can cause, or the lasting anxiety that can occur. In fact, most people do not realize how often this occurs, especially in women.
Women often become afraid of their cars if the injuries they sustained were very serious. While this does happen in men, women react this way to an accident more often because they feel that their driving skills have become diminished.When a car accident occurs, it can really impact your self-confidence about getting behind the wheel again. Anxiety and fear can also become an issue, and many people experience a complete fear of even getting into a car again. Thankfully, this can be addressed and corrected.
Overcoming Post Accident Anxiety
• Drivers Refresher Course. Sometimes this fear and anxiety can be overcome by taking a drivers refresher course. The person who is experiencing the anxiety “learns” first-hand that they are still a skilled driver and able to operate the vehicle.
• Passenger Skills. Sometimes this fear is able to be conquered by remaining a passenger for a while and feeling comfortable in the front seat of the car once more. In bad anxiety cases, the person who is affected does not even want to get into a car at all. Sometimes starting slowly as a passenger will help overcome the fear.
• Small Trips. It may take some time, but the fearful driver can begin making small errands in the car, preferably with another adult passenger. Quick trips to the grocery store will eventually become long trips.
• Therapy. Some people are so fearful of their car after an accident that they must seek professional therapy to help them overcome their problems. Once therapy has begun to show progress, they will be able to complete the steps listed above and return to driving.
Post-accident anxiety is something that is very real and must be taken seriously. If you or a loved on have been involved in a car accident and are experiencing this type of fear, it is important to seek help. It is also very important for you to discuss this fact with your car accident attorney. On this video from Long Island car accident lawyer, Gacovino Lake, you can find some insight in to the type of assistance a car accident attorney can provide to make the situation less stressful.
Of particular interest is the fact that insurance companies will show up as quickly as possible to settle your claim. You may not be aware of your anxiety about driving at that time and would not receive the appropriate compensation to pay for therapy for your anxiety.
Your attorney can make sure that prior to the settlement for your accident , the insurance company pay for any and all treatments you need to overcome this issue. Any lasting impacts that this anxiety may cause you must also be considered when a settlement is offered. If continued treatment is necessary, you need to have the financial capabilities to cover these expenses.
The worst thing that you can do is ignore these feelings. You want to make sure that you take the proper steps or receive the right therapy to address this issue. Failing to take care of the problem could result in a lifetime of not being able to drive or panicking behind the wheel. Sadly, panicking behind the wheel could lead to another accident, making matters even worse.
Georgina Clatworthy is a former legal editor and still writes on many legal topics. She has always tried to provide advice and insight on the many issues often overlooked in legal matters especially in terms of the effects caused by injuries and accidents.
Thank you for being part of our community of kind, thoughtful people who have respect for all. Be sure to claim your free download and find out how to have Judy Helm Wright aka “Auntie Artichoke” speak at your next convention or in-service. You can contact her at http://www.judyhwright.com You will be glad you did.
We teach people how to treat us by allowing them to step on our boundaries and hurt our feelings. This is an excellent article about the 4 steps to setting boundaries in a firm, kind voice that sends a message of how we want to be treated. For more information, please go to http://artichokepress.com which has a full listing of books, videos, e-learning and articles to enhance family relationships and build strong, resilient family members.
What To Do If Your Child Has Violent Tendencies
Most parents have the highest hopes and anticipation for our children. When your visions of success and happiness are thwarted because of your child’s violent tendencies, parents may be tempted to deny that your child needs help or that your child’s tendencies will resolve themselves over time. However, ignoring or prolonging your offspring’s violent outbursts is the worst course of action you can take if you hope to restore any desires that your child will be happy and successful in the future.
Rather than give into the worry, fear, embarrassment, and stress that come with having a violent child, parents can instead take these prompt and necessary steps to lead your child to a healthy and meaningful future.
What Makes A Kid Violent?
It’s been proven that excessive exposure to violence through popular media like movies, TV shows and video games contribute to a child’s violent behavior. It desensitizes children to the violence and can make them adopt aggressive behavior. By the time a typical American child reaches the age of 18, he has already been exposed to almost 200,000 acts of violence seen on TV. Popular video games like Grand Theft Auto also rewards violent and destructive behavior.
If a child has suffered some trauma to his brain, this injury can also add to his violent behavior. Use of drugs and alcohol, violence or economic strain in the family can be factors too. Children at risk are those who have problems with being impulsive, irritable, and easily frustrated.
Accept The Problem For What It Is
Some parents may be ready to gloss over your child’s emotional and mental outbursts as a normal developmental stage or a bout of immaturity that will surely go away over time. Minimizing your child’s violent tendencies, however, only serves to deflect the responsibility of getting your child much needed help and addressing the issue for what it really is. Many parents avoid recognizing your child’s outbursts because you may feel embarrassed or that you are to blame for your child’s behavior. Instead of focusing on how you feel, however, you should think ahead about what is best for your child and act promptly to get your son or daughter the professional help they need.
As parents, you must also think of the safety of other children, like siblings or schoolmates, who might be at the receiving end of mean acts. Is your violent child being a typical “brat” or is he taking bullying to a dangerous level? Does he need constant monitoring because he is not to be trusted with playing nice or being left alone with other kids?
Seek Help Through The Professional Community
You may try to keep your child out of the medical establishment by taking your offspring to counseling sessions with religious leaders or natural healers. While it may be perfectly acceptable to adhere to religious or lifestyle beliefs during your child’s recovery, parents are still encouraged to seek out qualified medical help for your child’s violent tendencies. A team of doctors, licensed psychiatrists, and mentors are the ideal choices for heading up a child’s emotional and mental treatment.
In the case of a troubled child, the causes might come from social issues which need to be addressed. A specialist in juvenile justice who also happens to work as a life coach in Seattle for at-risk kids, suggests that the child’s failure to thrive could be because of an addiction, and that he could use help with “releasing stress, reframing and keeping boundary maintenance, and improved communication.” A child may have to be hospitalized, put on medications, or go through other intense medical therapies that can help him recover from the emotional or mental distress that causes his violent behavior. The coach also works with the whole family, to help repair the dynamics between the child and his parents and siblings. Each child is different so the course of action for your particular family would be worked out by the coach with your family’s participation.
Commit To Long-Term Monitoring And Care
Once your child has been treated and shows signs of improvement, don’t be quick to dismiss his behavior and believe that the problem is resolved permanently. Few children recover quickly from violent emotional and mental behaviors. Many kids face years of treatment for their behavior, making it necessary for their parents to commit to a long-term care plan that ultimately should lead to the child’s successful recovery. Falsely believing that the treatment will be short-lived and resolved in a few short weeks or months can set you up for disappointment and frustration.
Work As A Parental Team
Parents whose children show signs of violent behavior may be quick to blame each other. It is vital that you realize that blaming your spouse only leads to a breakdown of your relationship with each other and your entire family’s structure. For the sake of your child and his siblings, parents must work together to focus on his recovery. Showing a unified front can give the troubled adolescent the reassurance he needs to commit to his medical treatment.
When children show signs of violent behavior, parents should not hesitate to act quickly and get their child the help he needs. By taking these important and urgent steps, parents can lead their son or daughter to a healthy and happy recovery.
Debbie Nguyen is a writer who likes to blog about children’s difficulties and how parents can best help resolve them. She has first-hand experience with her two teens.
Photo Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/trixer/3531445744/
You will be glad you did and so will your child.
“What went well?” is a much more positive way to teach family members to focus on the positive in life rather than the negative. Read this article for 3 tips on raising positive kids in a negative world.
What should you do when your kids fight and argue? Should you step in or allow them to work it out? The definition of sibling rivalry isCompetition between siblings especially for the attention, affection, and approval of their parents. This article is filled with good ideas that can assist your family to stop arguing and gain more cooperation.
Nature Nurtures The Spirit & Builds The Body
Children who have the opportunity to play in nature have a heightened awareness of the world. Being in nature helps them to recognize the cycles of life and the interdependence of plants, animals and humans.
They also have more advanced coordination, balance and agility. When they are involved in physical play, they develop their lungs and muscles which means they are sick less often. Being in nature creates a resilient spirit and a bounce-back attitude.