Teaching respect is an important part of parenting. You cannot fake respect for others. Kids have a built in BS radar. They are very aware of adult’s moods, attitudes and belief systems. If we want them to practice kindness and respect for others, you must show respect and kindness to them.
When you build confidence, both in yourself and others, use strong words that evoke a sense of movement.
For instance; “I can do it” is certainly stronger than “I can’t do it.” Contrast that to “I choose to do it” which sounds more powerful and sure. The strongest is “I am going to do it! I will start right now and practice it every day until it becomes automatic action.”
Commit to Confidence
Making a decision that you can do something is great but making a commitment and an action plan is even better. The Universe rewards action. When you move forward, you will find assistance, guidance and doors opening for you. Life actually becomes easier once you move in a forward direction.
In my many books and articles available at http://www.ArtichokePress.com you will find the words to say to bring about positive change. I do this because sadly, many people have told me that they need the specific words and phrases because they have never heard them.
Phrases To Increase Self-Esteem and Confidence
Here is a list of 15 encouraging words and phrases that will assist you or your child to keep trying and increase self-esteem and confidence.
- “I like the way you handled that.”
- “Wow, you really thought out the solution to that problem.”
- “I have faith in your ability.”
- “I appreciate what you did.”
- “You are really showing improvement.”
- “I know you will figure out a good way to do it next time.”
- “You don’t have to be perfect. Effort and improvement are important.”
- “I trust you to be responsible.”
- “It must make you proud of yourself when you accomplish something like that.”
- “You are a valuable part of the team.”
- “It is okay to make a mistake, we all do. What do you think you learned from it?”
- “How can we turn this into a positive?”
- “I’m proud of you for trying.”
- “I’ll bet by next year you will be able to handle it, you just need to grow a little.”
- “I know you are disappointed that you didn’t win, but you’ll do better next time.”
Say Your Encouraging Words With Emotion
The stronger the positive statements spoken with emotion and deep meaning, the more the sub-conscious mind believes you and works to make it come true. That is why affirmations work. You are repeating positive statements with feeling and emotion.
Claim a copy of the audio book Affirmations For Abundance at http://www.ArtichokePress.com and listen to it daily for 21 days as you commute to work or walk around the park. You will see a big difference in your belief system and inner confidence.
You deserve the best and I am confident in your ability to impact the world by influencing others to make wise choices through the use of encouragement and attracting the positive.
Join our community of kind, thoughtful people who want respect for all at http://www.ArtichokePress.com
4 Ways to Connect & Communicate With Your Toddler
Do you talk to your kids or with them? Do you listen to them and do you actually hear what they are trying to tell you? Does your body language (non-verbal) match what your words (verbal) are communicating? Connecting and bonding with your children will be one of the most valuable gifts and legacies that you can share with them.
If you are like most parents and caring adults, your main objective is to raise competent, well-adjusted children who become self-reliant and emotionally healthy adults. I would like to invite you to read, ponder and think how you can apply these four parts of communicating with young children today
1. Connect with them by saying their name
Before giving directions or asking them to do a task, make sure they are even on the same wave-length as you are. Squat down so you are looking at them and can engage their eyes on you instead of their toys. You may need to announce; “Emmie, I need your ears to hear what I am going to say.” “Jeffrey, I need your eyes to see what I want you to see.” As parents we also found it helpful to touch their upper arm when we needed their full attention. In return, they knew that when they touched our upper arm, they had something important to say.
2. Say what you want in short sentences, not long lectures
Be very specific in what you want. The more parents ramble and justify their position the more the kids become overwhelmed, confused and eager to say no. “I want the toys in the box now.” If it seems like they are going to argue, just repeat “Toys-box-now.” If your child can’t repeat back what you want done, it was too long and confusing.
3. When-then not If
This is the difference between a reward and a bribe. When is a measurable goal; “when you put your shoes on, then we will leave for the store and the park.” You both know if the shoes are on or off and that it is his job, there is nothing to debate, argue or throw a tantrum over. When and then implies that you expect obedience and compliance with the request.
However, you start a sentence with “If” then there is room for negotiation, whining and begging. Saying “if you put your shoes on we can go to the park after shopping” implies that he has a choice.
It is important that children know that they have some choices in life, but not everything is a choice or worthy of a decision. Sometimes, they just do what we say because we are the parent and make decisions that are in their best interest and best for the family.
Which leads us to the last and most important part of being a parent, helping the children we love and care for to be independent self-reliant individuals?
4. Help them to help themselves.
Of course it is easier and faster for us, as adults, to do things ourselves. We can zip the zipper and be on our way much quicker than we can take the time to show her one more time how to fit the zipper tab over the two sides. But this is a disservice and a discouragement to the child.
When we encourage them to learn new tasks and celebrate their capabilities that support transfers to every aspect of life. The accomplishment of a small thing today will lead to more successes every day. As they see us model making mistakes and self-correcting or adjusting our goals in life, they see that it is okay to not be perfect. The joy of knowing that you are loved unconditionally builds a foundation of confidence and self-esteem.
The more you do for your children the less time you have to do things with them. Connect and communicate your love, support and joy by building pleasant memories and strong life skills.
- Have you heard yourself saying to your toddler; “Here, just let me do it. It will be faster?”
- If your toddler wants to help, will you allow him to assist you?
- Are you aware of the natural stages of growth in small children?
- Would you like to learn more about tips and techniques to bond with your child?
- If so, then claim your free report at http://www.askauntieartichoke.com
Judy Helm Wright aka “Auntie Artichoke” is an expert parent educator and speaker. If your organization would be interested in hiring Judy as a keynote speaker, please call 406-549-9813 or see http://www.judyhwright.com
If you found this article interesting, you will want to check out the new series of Raising Smart & Kind Kids- Babies, Toddlers and Pre-school. They are available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble or at http://www.ArtichokePress.com
The best way to build confidence and self-esteem is to find things we are good at and enjoy and do more of them. Determine what you or your child is good at and then just do more and better of that. Manage weakness but don’t concentrate on it.
Hello from beautiful Montana:
Are you or someone you love overcome with low self esteem? A belief system which implies that you are less than others and not deserving of happiness is not serving you well. Each one of us is born with a gift or destiny. It is important that you find ways and means to build confidence and raise your self-esteem.
Build Confidence With Positive Affirmations
Our thoughts and belief systems are continually running through our minds. Are your thoughts mostly positive or negative? Thoughts are like plants in a garden, when you plant a bean (or positive thought) you get multiples of beans. You will want to plant a series of hope, success, happiness and enthusiasm seeds of positive affirmations.
Affirmations are statements of belief. Your subconscious does not grade or evaluate them. It just tries to make the actions of the individual (you) make them come true. The more you repeat a statement, the more the mind will hear the message and encourage your physical body to follow the encouragement.
Affirmations For High Self-Esteem
- I am a worthy person who treats others and myself with respect.
- I am a successful problem solver and find creative solutions.
- I draw others to me who are kind, thoughtful and helpful.
- I take care of my body and mind so I can appreciate all my talents.
- I am brave, courageous, and unafraid to change ways and thoughts that are not working for my highest good.
Negative Thoughts and Low Self-Esteem Unwelcome
I have confidence in your ability to encourage a positive attitude and high self-esteem. You can do it. You are worthy of the respect of your peers, family and friends. Just keep planting positive affirmations in your mind and acting in a confident manner.
If you need assistance, please go to:
You will be glad you did.
Judy Helm Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship author and motivational speaker